Sound healing through music playlists

I’m not sure how to start this post. I’m pretty blown away. You know how some people going through a spiritual awakening will download new systems for healing? I think I’ve just done something similar, and accidentally completed my own little Magnus Opus. Perhaps. It’s about healing through music. I think I’m about to start sharing this as it feels complete(ish). But first, it needs context, or it creates confusion.

Since I was a teenager with an invisible chronic illness, I’ve credited music with saving my life. At a time when I needed an outlet for my emotions, music was there for me. When I needed to feel understood and seen, music allowed me to feel I wasn’t alone and what I was going through was a shared human experience. Dancing became my physical outlet for stress at university, and my own personal therapy. I realised this one day while scouring the HMV discount CDs, as I bought my first non metal album in a few years. I realised if I was choosing to listen to happier music, I must be feeling better. From that point on I began seeing myself, and the emotions I felt in my shadow, through the music choices I chose to listen to. Music became my therapist, for accessing all the subconscious thoughts I’d ever felt.

During the Napster and Limewire days, I downloaded all I could. My office workmates and I pooled resources to create a giant and very varied music collection, which we all took home. I organised this into moods – angry, rock, relaxing, partying, etc. It was a good system, I always had music to listen to based on mood, and if I wanted to feel a different mood I would choose another, and I began slowly programming myself with music. Mood music!

I realised music can be both healing and damaging. The frequency, tone, lyrics and overall energy all affect us more than we realise. If I’m angry and listen to metal, what I get out of it is what I put in. If I need to express my anger, it gives me an outlet. Once that’s released, I usually regret that anger and listening to it a second time is a different experience. Then I can tap into *why* I feel this anger. Each time there’s a different reason. Once I’ve felt and expressed the energy in that song, the charge goes away. I’ve gone through the layers of that healing and released the energy from my body and my emotions. I stop wanting to listen to that music, it doesn’t resonate any more, I’m at peace with a situation I was previously peeved about, and I move onto something more peaceful and uplifting. This for me is experiencing music consciously and mindfully. Musefully?

I didn’t used to do this. Unconsciously, metal temporarily took the edge off of my teenage anger and then made me angrier. It justified my fury, increased it, creating a vicious cycle. I became a metalhead who loved no music other than metal. It was the organising of music into moods that helped me see this, and give me a way to snap out of it.

That worked well for me for years, and when the paid streaming services came out I had no use for them as I already had all the music I could ever want on my PC. I channeled my love for music into work, and developed music and festival streaming services.  In my mid thirties I peaked in terms of life ambition, when I sat watching Metallica being streamed on an app I’d product managed onto my PS3, it was beautiful and horrifying. There was nothing else I wanted to achieve professionally, and I had a huge ‘what’s next?’ moment. I stopped enjoying new music. By turning it into work and feeling like I’d ‘finished’ work in terms of ambition, I lost my passion for it. I became old and stuck in the past. I took redundancy and a year off to heal and find myself. My life, marriage, career, health etc all nosedived and I kinda lost almost everything I’d ever cared about that had once motivated me. Bad times!

Then I began to have a spiritual awakening.

And then I met a girl.

And then I found Spotify again, because the girl who was the first girl I’d been attracted to in ten years talked to me about music and healing and suggested sharing our music choices, and I was baffled that the music she was into even existed as a popular thing, and I realised how out of touch I was. I experienced psychic feelings I’d no idea about and got it into my head that she was my twin or soulmate or something, nothing else made sense and everything was intense.

To switch away from my downloaded music, I needed to replicate them online so I went about that. I ditched the previous moods, and started going with whatever felt right. Multiple moods. That became a genre based collection of music, ranging from rock, metal, pop, dance, etc. Then I went with music from my childhood to reconnect with my inner child, with 80s and 70s themes, etc. That really helped me connect to my inner child and give him some way to express himself. Then I just went freeflow with whatever as I’d refound my inner feeling of wanting to play โ˜บ๏ธ Nothing was happening with the girl, we seemed to have very different tastes and I was going through a divorce and a kundalini awakening, so not in a place to start anything new, as I was literally quite messed up at the time. I got the impression she got fed up waiting for me to get my life together and moved on, so I tried to as well.

A good while later I began a relationship with a long term friend who I loved enormously, who also created a spotify playlist for me which again showed me her soul but not what she was saying in life. It was to be my last attempt at dating someone who wasn’t in a similar place as me spiritually. It was the most intense period of relationship highs and lows I’ve had, and we pretty much broke each other, unable to be with or away from each other. I felt like I’d experienced the kind of relationship I would have experienced with the lady who helped wake me up. Different people but similar energy. Similar decade-ish age gap. Inteeeennnnssseee push and pull trauma bonding (I was dating my anima without knowing what an anima was).

So, I moved abroad. My third eye was open, I’d had a mini second kundalini awakening, I was connected to everything completely differently, finding life overwhelming, in the midst of dealing with treble heart break feelings I was yet to fully get over, and living on a solitary lake island in Holland, to get away from everyone and everything to process my emotions. Listening to the music playlists by my past three loves for the last 15 years and trying to understand how things felt from their perspective, feeling sorry and awful and really realising that I had a lot of self improvement work to do if I wanted to break out of this relationship cycle.

That was the bombshell moment. Looking back on the musical soul fam lady’s playlists from when we had met, realising I wasn’t awake or aware enough to read between the lines at the time, and that our music choices are what we feel on a soul level. Viewing the song titles differently and seeing a whole different narrative I’d never noticed before. Now I was in a different place dimensionally and energetically, the music took on an entirely different meaning. I saw the soul in the people I loved and how it differed from 3D life and their actions. Everything I’d missed because of my ego fears and doubts. In survival mode I’d interpreted it negatively. In joy mode, I saw only love.

So, hoping to make up for this and to woo the lady who was clearly awake and aware of this when she suggested getting to know each other though Spotify, I poured my soul out into song. Crafting a carefully put together playlist or three to show how I felt, with music energy to express it. That got answered and rebuffed rather strongly, as is the way with intense soulmate relationships, she’d moved on. So I carried on as I was obsessed, and that of course got ignored, then we just started having a go at each other. I was really gutted and not at all happy with how I was behaving, and tried to let it all go.

How to let go of negative energy in the middle of nowhere in Holland, right in the middle of a mid life crisis? The beauty of living in isolation means you can play music and dance like no one is watching, because they aren’t. So, I had a shmoke and some shrooms and a dance. For the first time in a long long time I felt a lot better, all my myself. No lady, no pet dog, just me on a lake letting go of my troubles, guided by the plant spirits. For the first time ever, I felt free.

I began creating playlists that reflected how I felt right then, in the moment, and danced my evenings away. When I was dancing I was happy, when I wasn’t I was depressed. So I tried to put the past behind me and focused on making music playlists to make myself happy. Happy music = happy emotions = happy life?

It worked. Sort of. I became a lightworker. I was super nice. I met my higher self, who was very handy indeed. I ignored the nastiness of life and shone my light. Yay, I was healed, in public and in Holland. Back at home in the UK, I was depressed.

Whoops! I was bypassing my emotions. Not wanting to deal with the underlying feelings that made me want to ignore them and bliss out. I was a junkie on light energy, as plenty people are in the spiritual community. No judgement – it was the right thing for me at the time. Awakening can’t be all a horror show, we need a mix of positive and negative experiences, so it’s right to shut out negativity for a while and focus on self love.

I had this shown to me gently by some friends. I realised I was sat on a bunch of repressed energy and I feared my dark side – I didn’t really know what it was, or who I really was. So I decided to face those fears and unsuppress myself and explore who I was through music. Safely, on my own, I thought. I allowed myself to feel my shadow and get to know it. Out it popped, and it was pissed off.

Immediately that meant I energetically repelled the people I’d been compatible with previously. We had an argument, I went though a spiritual upgrade and my kundalini raised again. I felt under attack energetically, in ways I’d never experienced and I was pretty terrified. My shadow wanted to fight. My higher self told me it would take over and would navigate my way through this if I just let go and went with the flow.

No disrespect to witches, I used to be one and love them and want to be one again. But also don’t mess with me please, I’m too old for this shit

The flow was to ignore the negative energy entirely, focus on me, write what I felt like, and to create music playlists. Lots of them. I went through what I can only describe as religious experiences, which I could only make sense of through music. I look back now and see I was going through different stages of ascension, and trying to understand what was happening to me, by subconsciously making a musical diary of my emotions.

One of my playlists told me how to navigate my life to work through the Armageddon stuff and help bring about the Golden age outcome of balance and most people continuing to live. My mission on earth was given to me – heal myself to help heal the world. Do it through spirit, music, dance and writing. Transmute the energy of the other timelines to peace n love n stuff. Fight for peace; quite the paradox, but that was my personal path.

I has having visions of the future, which was a bizarre new thing for me. I say visions – feelings, waking dreams of events happening and me being there. I needed a way of working out what’s going on in my third eye, which I feel but can’t see. Different versions of how the end of the world could play out played out in my mind, all a jumble at first but through music I managed to slowly separate them into three different timelines of potential events. Armageddon, basically. Three distinct outcomes – one leading to nuclear war, fire, destruction and a new ice age, one leading to another flood, and one leading to the Golden age of Aquarius. If the light were to win their battle of Armageddon, we get hurricanes and floods (light=air&water). If the dark were to win their battle we get fire and earthquakes (dark=fire&earth). Although like a Yin Yang it’s not so simple as dark and light, there is a little of each energy in all elements, air for example can either be a cool light breeze or a dark destructive typhoon. Battling is negative energy, whether it’s against the light or the dark (and it took me quite a while to realise that). Both water and fire transmute energy, fire destroys and purifies the problem and water soothes and refreshes – and if there is a lot of human emotions being felt, the world reflects back our emotions to us with weather and life situations – as above, so below, as within, so without. This is how shamans and indigenous tribes can affect the weather with dance, and calling in the elements to channel and affect, offering balance to the wild weather situations, with positive emotions calming negative weather. Sounds nuts but it’s a thing. So effectively, if 99% of the world’s population felt angry, that would be an energetic condition for a country to begin a world war, and bring about the end of humanity. If 99% of the population felt really sad, that brings on a flood of emotions. Somewhere in-between those extremes are earthquakes and hurricanes, which need calming energy to counteract them. Energy is everything, and we co-create our own reality, with ‘reality’.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fiiiine

The Golden age is the middle ground. Balance. Heart and head, feminine and masculine. Fight – for unconditional love, by choosing forgiveness each time, battling my own ego’s need to control until we attain inner and outer peace. A strong emphasis on the word UNconditional love. Conditional = control = fear based behaviour = fire = nuclear winter. That’s how it was all put to me. Tell the world, I was told. I tried telling the world, subtly. The world mostly laughed or stopped talking to me. That’s how it goes. No one wants to hear they have to change or we all die. I guess that’s to be expected! So, I focussed on myself and my own timeline malarkey, and told the world through Instagram, who actually listened and related, and taught me a lot as they’d been getting the same visions. Quite the relief!

Fast forward to the next relationship. A totally spiritual one, but sadly not compatible in the emotional love life department. However, when I’m in a relationship and feeling the good feels, my connection with spirit increases through the roof. That happened and I went though a right old time with my ego being boosted, and confidently decided I was the cosmic DJ of the universe, posting cryptic stuff to that effect on Facebook about God being a DJ, and feeling like I was here on earth to create music playlists for starseeds to follow, as a way of getting a heads up for what’s happening energetically, helping us all transmute our problems together and avoid an overly watery or firey armageddon. Yikes. My ego does some funny stuff during a kundalini awakening. I didn’t actually announce that, thankfully.

It felt like it happened anyway though. I started feeling and mirroring through music a lot of other peoples energy, and my playlists became more about things happening in the world and various spiritual prophecies. Less like a diary, and more like storytelling from both sides. Alas they also gave me a good idea of what was happening behind my back relationship wise, and that relationship quite quickly came to an end. Then I felt under energetic attack from various sources and expressed that in a playlist.. here we go again… the threat energy increased until I’d done enough playlists and dancing to transmute it all away back to forgiveness and love. There was a repeating pattern here… and yet I felt 100% compelled that this was all leading to something and I had to continue. And my higher self and guides drummed that in, daily.

It was also the only way I could communicate with my musical soul mate, who despite getting over and letting go of multiple times was always there in the back of my mind when I was single again… you know how it goes, we’ve all been there. Sometimes your heart says yes even if your head says nope, and vice versa. Karmic ties are strong bonds.

Months later, the kundalini and problems had all calmed down. I’d gone through another round of losing friends by being a bit too woooo, and back to assuming no one was paying me much attention, which was a lovely relief. I went back to music for me, and me only. I knew I needed a lot of healing so I went inwards, focussing on knowing myself, my guides, my shadow and clearing my karma, feeling that was the responsible thing to do.

I realised I could consciously create healing playlists at this point. I started off with a problem, felt the feels, and provided the resolution by searching for song titles. Then, just listened and danced when I felt like I had energy to shift. Usually about celebrating positive energy and transmuting negative energy to peace, through love and forgiveness. I begin to make sure that anything I was going through had a positive result. I started seeing parts of my life as chapters, which I was capturing through music like a video. Life began to be about closing off each chapter positively, while new ones sprung up constantly. Some playlists begin to be about people and how I felt about them. Some were about just me, or a situation happening in life, like a pandemic playlist for example. Creating playlists for my main astrological energy was amazingly insightful. Some would start off with one person who would then leave my life and someone else would then come into it, and that chapter of energy continued until it turned out positively. They’re nearly always about energy rather than specific people, but not always! Some were me making sense of future prophecy feels and how the timelines were doing. Some were about spirit animal guidance in how to navigate my life. Some were manifesting what I wanted to have in my life, and some were about me accessing painful past experiences, in this and my past lives, so I could make peace with them. I begin to manage my entire life through music. It was working. If I had a problem or just wanted to understand a new feeling, I turned it into a playlist and danced off the angst into acceptance and peace.

I became completely absorbed in my music bubble, creating my own soundtrack. My higher self and I are nicely aligned – it tells me what music to add and I review the song choices and organise them into a flow state, so the music feels as smooth as possible while moving from one genre to another. Over time, based on the emotions I felt from the music, the song titles began to tell a story. Sometimes they matched the emotions of the music, and sometimes they were the total opposite. A good healing soundtrack would often have a negative list of song titles, but listening to the music transmuted that negativity to love. At this point I realised something pretty weird and special was happening here, now I was doing this for the right reasons and not to boost my ego or chat anyone up.

As my healing and awakening continued, my relationship with music evolved. My guides began to ask to express themselves through playlists too. They would take over, tell me to add a bunch of songs I’d not listened to before or didn’t necessary like, but it was the music I needed to hear. Often it was so triggering I couldn’t stand it – they just blurted out truth to me in a way in which I saw myself – and saw my human soul mate mirrors in myself – how they saw me and I saw them and essentially we were both the same. It was tough but so healing – I couldn’t think of a better way to do shadow work. Over time they became a mixture of everything – all the energy I was feeling in myself – which as I was unsuppressing an 8th house stellium, also became the feelings of everyone I knew in life, connected with online, and lived nearby. I soaked up the unspoken energy around me like a boundryless sponge, and with my higher self and which ever spirit guide felt appropriate at the time, created healing playlists one after another. I felt myself transmuting both my and everyone else’s energy. I’d see it in my and their life, after a dance. I’d accidentally discovered some form of modern day personalised shamanic dance ritual. I was healing humanity without anyone even realising, so I thought. I was a secret super sound shaman! ๐Ÿคช Not that you can say that. I not trained, don’t have a certificate or know what I’m doing in advance TBH, it’s all intuition and trust in spirit’s guidance. But I get taken over by spirit and do shamanic stuff, so it is what it is.

So, all was well, going great, I regularly burnt myself out from dancing but this was Armageddon averted for sure, so I thought. The more I did it, the stronger I felt the energy of others. I wasn’t promoting the music any more, but I did link to it on my Facebook account and I could feel the energy of some people checking it out. I was told those who needed to hear it would hear it. The more this happened, the more the playlists became about other people and how I was responding to them without even realising who they were. I picked up their joy but also their fears – and responded to them. I merged with the collective conscious and mirrored them. The more I responded, the more the energy increased – much of it positive, but it also became negative and oppressive and the only way I could transmute it was to dance it off. It became a vicious cycle.

Then, to make things worse, I accidentally promoted it on my Instagram page after talking about music healing, and being asked to share a playlist. What I thought was an Instagram story preview – of me seeing how I could potentially promote a playlist, before deciding not to – went live. And then months later I did it all over again! Each time my higher self told me it was meant to be, and to go with it. It would help heal someone. It was a good thing. Share my gifts, don’t hide my light, etc etc.

People don’t follow the playlists much at all, so I have no idea how many people have been listnening, or for how long, but a few people have made that clear enough now that I know the number is *some* (thankyou ๐Ÿ™). Whether this was real or all in my head, higher me kept telling me to carry on. The number of followers were so low, I convinced myself no one I knew was listening, just finding them randomly. It was my own little safe space to express and heal myself.

Then I realised that these cycles were happening now, had happened in the past, and would likely happen again. I started using them to predict the future. It worked! Then I began making my own playlists, manifesting my future, removing any negative songs and adding positive ones. That didn’t work. That did the opposite and made bad things worse. Turns out I couldn’t emotionally bypass or control destiny, so I had to give in trying, and deal with the lows.

It then took a really negative turn. I felt in my interactions with people, they knew me better than myself. They knew my future and were just waiting for me to become it. People who I’d never met would greet me as if they knew me. That I was an idiot, manufacturing myself a negative destiny. I felt people were uneasy around me and so I became uneasy around people. I felt the energy of negative rumours – that my shadow working playlists were being misinterpreted by people they had triggered. The first automatic response for someone being triggered is to accuse the other person of being the bad guy. This was reflected back to me in life so many times I stopped talking to anyone, and only communicated through social media comments. Was it directed at me, or just the collective consciousness echoing eachother? I simply didn’t know. So I added songs reflecting that energy, and it increased.

Worse, my playlists where I was expressing my love life feels were being interpreted as directed at people that they weren’t actually directed at. My love life failed catastrophically. I attracted mirrors to the energy of my music which was expressing my unrequited love for my soul mate mirror. One week the love bombing started. Out of nowhere I felt and saw online half a dozen women all express their love to me, but I didn’t know any of them well enough to feel love for them back. Then I had to somehow deal with that, which didn’t work out well at all or very sensitively, as I was completely overwhelmed, feeling defensive, and focussed on who I thought was my twin flame at the time. I was hurting and I hurt others no matter how I tried to handle or avoid it. I likely broke a few hearts, and they energetically broke mine at the same time. I felt that pain in my heart too, which is a lot to do with why I am writing this, to explain, apologise and hopefully make amends. I’m really sorry, hurting anyone’s feelings was the last thing I wanted to do, this was all meant to be about healing ๐Ÿ˜”

My health and past life playlists are especially dark – all of the worst feelings and experiences that I’ve felt happened to me in past lives as both genders, sometimes victim and sometimes oppressor – could be completely misconstrued to make me out to be a absolute monster in this life. My friends mostly stopped talking, and most stopped visiting. One person visiting me was clearly suspicious and cautious. I was advised to move home, but not why. I became quite paranoid, felt I was both local gossip and under spells/manifestations, and shut out the world. Survival mode, hermit time.

The more shadow work I did, the worse this got. For me, I was understanding, accepting and transmuting my pain to love, but for others just looking at song titles it likely looked as I wanted to destroy the world and kill or have sex with everyone. I really didn’t, I considered everything in my angst and decided on quite the opposite or at least a middle ground approach with the sex stuff! Things reached a peak when I felt able to explore my returning feelings on my abuse as a child. Memories from the reptilian part of the brain I couldn’t previously access began to open up, and I went through a mental rewiring of sorts after revisiting my core trauma again in more detail. I looked at my playlists with fresh eyes, and the energy of child abuse and how abuse survivors live their life as a result was present in lots of them. In a pattern, beginning right when I was a toddler and then the same trauma pattern replaying itself out in my relationships. Every time, it just took a different amount of time. My toxic trauma based patterns right there on display for all to see but me, crying out for attention while I was lost in the music, trying to reach my childhood memory gaps.

I looked at each playlist where my love life was concerned and saw the pattern of relationships that I have as a result. I saw everything with clarity for the first time. And then I saw how people who don’t know me could be negatively perceiving me. As the abuser instead of the abused. Or both. No-one could tell. I had lots of songs representing my feelings sung by female singers about men, and my partners (typically strong masculine females) represented by male singers talking about women. As I was integrating my inner child I’d rediscovered a lot of old childhood songs and had included them into the playlists. For me I was re-experiencing them from the consciousness of my inner child, channelling to me how it felt so I could understand and accept myself. For others who haven’t done inner child work, given the reactions I’ve had, this likely looked awful. It’s impossible for anyone to know how anyone else is feeling based on the music they’re listening to, everything has polarities, positive and negative, and we view the other through the lense of the self. I was also integrating my feminine energy and anima, so the female sung song perspectives helped me access those feelings instead of having to involve much karmic trauma bonding to learn my lessons difficultly. At one point I related mostly to the male voices, and then switched to the feminine. Replaying these older playlists back now, I can see how I’m both, and every relationship was a mirror into my shadow, that needed healing.

I’d suppressed that shadow, kept it tightly under lock and key until now. Never acted on it. Totally overruled by Catholic guilt and fear of karmic consequences. My shadow was an abused scared angry kid. In life, I was an innocent man, a hermit and sexual prude, always focussing on doing the right thing. Anything I felt guilty over, my past relationship transgressions as a twenty something lad for a few years, I’d apologised and made up for. So I feel I have nothing to hide, and am able to address this directly.

I personally see myself as the protector of the abused, I grew up in that environment and it’s what I’ve always tried to do in life. In my love life, my career, my hobbies. I manage communities and help people get better. Because I want to heal myself and I’m a projector, so I try to do both at once these days. It’s unhealthy, co-dependent and toxic sometimes, but it’s better than becoming the unconscious abuser. At this point I was publicly being called and shamed as all kinds of things, I felt like a target for people’s shadow rage. From multiple areas of my life, all at once. People really don’t react well to 8th house energy.. it shines a light on the taboo to make it normal, it’s all mystic stuff, trauma, sex, death and taxes. The opposite of herd mentality, and the herd initially project their trigger feelings of fear, shame and wrongness onto me. Fun fun. But this had reached a point where it was ruining my reputation and chance of a career as a healer. Which I had, and have put on hold until I fully heal my core trauma, as that’s the responsible thing to do. Meanwhile, I would still like to live a life, especially having being ill and sexually repressed for decades.

A female version of this would be considered an empowered high priestess wild woman, but a male… Perfect for projecting father and religious wounding onto ๐Ÿ˜
(FYI I am a naturally monogamous, now considering ethical polyamory because nothing else seems to work since my kundalini awakening – which promotes one love, freedom, lack of jealousy and co-dependence – but it’s a journey, and I would like both stability and freedom, somehow)

At that point I also saw that the end of the pattern in many of my playlists resulted in death. And that the timeframe for that death was about now. There was a strong consistent end theme. Half were death, half were a happy long life.

Then, I got attacked by a voodoo spell, and that sounded ridiculous until last year, but no.. they’re a thing. Then another.. and another… a wave of psychic attacks, I don’t know what was voodoo, witchcraft or just bad feelings because it felt like every problem I’d ever had in my life, and trigger, was being presented to me at that moment in the worst way in which I could imagine it. People taking out their anger on me as a scapegoat for their own pain. I guess as a projector of my own pain, that was my karma to feel. All at once though – pretty harsh. I’ve learnt a lot about boundaries and trust, and I have a few new issues to heal from now. But also I’ve learnt a strong lesson on how my projector energy affects people.. whether or not because I am doing it for myself or because spirit is guiding me.. it’s a thing I need to be responsible for and more mindful of. Sadly, it seems impossible to both have a relationship and write my social media posts and create playlists… Until I reach the point where I no longer feel the need to integrate my shadow.

So, yeah, I’ve just been through about the worst thing I can imagine experiencing, energetically at least. Here I am clearing my name before I feel I can go near social media again. I’m full of physical and emotional PTSD right now and need to deal with this from a safe place, which is now my website.

I have a good deal going on with spirit. The analogy we work with is that of a driving instructor. I’m free to drive but my higher self – or spirit guides – can press the brake pedal and take over the steering if necessary. They only do that if my ego messes up badly or I’m in danger. At the sign of danger, spirit takes over to get me out of it.

Many on the awakening journey believe that spirit is an energy inside of us, and many believe it’s external. I believe it’s both, and whether we perceive spirit as inside or outside of us, depends on how feminine or masculine we are, and whether we access spirit through the heart – feeling it internally, or through the head, perceiving it externally. Feeling spirit internally is soothing and empowering, feeling it externally is usually about receiving firm but helpful life lessons. Internal=mother, external=father. I believe we attract the external guides that are aligned with us due to our inner energy – and an agreement with them amplifies that energy. If this sounds unfeasible, check out a youtube video of a shaman channelling a spirit, or ask yourself why all religions ever happened. 5D doesn’t negate 4D experiences, just like 3D they aren’t going anywhere immediately because the age of Aquarius is here. It’s just that for people in 5D, the 4D experiences no longer happen to them personally. I personally like all the dimensions, they all have their pros and cons and it’s good to travel. 4D is like a mental funpark whereas 5D seems pretty emotionally empty right now, because it’s sad being in 5D when everyone else doesn’t get you. It will change in time. (6D is full of nutters – avoid, skip to the 7th first!)

Usually this protective spirit takeover lasts a few hours, I transmute the energy and it’s done, I’m back to being me. This time, it took approx two months, on and off. Spirit felt the energy of psychic attack and went not into defense, but battle. Apparently it was necessary – time to stop self sacrificing myself in this way and to stand up for myself, to right the wrong perceptions and not take on the psychic attacks – which were as close to a heart attack and a forced feeling of suicide as I’ve ever encountered or wish to again. It was the scariest experience I’ve had – and also the safest, as I felt the energy of multiple guides step in and steer me through it, reassuring me each time I would be fine. I channeled a few ascended masters and deities and sang their song choices, which both reflected their energy and the current situation.

I realised that by taking in the energy of guides, I also take on an element of their energy, behaviour and therefore karma to experience in this life as well. It’s certainly bonding. For Jesus, that’s torturous. Mother Mary gives great hugs. With Zeus it’s hilarious and awesome. Thoth is cosmic nutty professor time, Bastet is very pleasurable indeed, Anubis is all about karma, rebirth and time/dimension travel, and Odin – well he’s indescribable and likes it that way. I have quite a few guides and everyone’s got their different themes which come out when that theme is relevant in my linear life, and they are the guide I currently need. I can’t explain what I’ve just felt and experienced for the past few weeks with words.. I’m still piecing together what the concept of reality might be right now, or just letting go of it entirely. I’m back to earth with a bump. Self realisation and consistent unconditional love seems to be the new energetic mission to finish off. It comes and goes. But it’s all steady progress.

Most playlists I’ve made are about the present or the past, but the recent playlist energy happened for a day or two, and they are going to cycle around and grow in energy, and occur again across the next three years – and onwards for people who aren’t healing. I’ve just had a preview, for me, and the collective. It’s a warning, and a guide on how to navigate some extremely delightful sounding experiences, and some truly horrible Armageddon style stuff too. Spirit’s handed me these so I can listen to them in advance and transmute the negativity before it happens, to at least lesson the blow, but it will take a group effort to reduce the negative energy of the world, by transmuting fear into love, which many people are doing all around the world. These playlists are essentially an Armageddon get out of jail free card and a fast track to the Golden age – which is a dimension, a feeling, and reached at different times by different people when we can open up our upper heart chakra and connect to each other in unconditional love. The whole chest warms up and glows, feeling connected to others of a similar vibration, all powering each other up, instead of dragging each other down, as humans often can do. It’s the greatest feeling, and these playlists are created to help us reach that place as smoothly as possible, by taking one problem at a time and transmuting it back to love and calm, peaceful empowerment. This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius…

At the end of my two month hiatus from my human personality and journey into various cultural realms and spiritual self actualisation, I was told that I’d created a system. Like tarot cards, I could use this to synchronously get a song played back to me regarding any situation… Because these timelines have previously happened, are happening, and will happen again – that’s the thing with time, in 5D. My life is in here – up until now, and my future – if I were to stay trapped by my patterns and conditioning. They’re also paradoxically the key to breaking out of them, and being free to make new choices, a fresh start. Real ongoing freedom, full self actualisation and awakening.

Just like before, I’m told to tell everyone. Face potential ridicule again. What’s one more time? Because for anyone that does resonate with this, I might be able to make a real difference. Just one person sharing these playlists with the right person could start a free musical self love shadow working healing revolution. In theory – why not? Everyone loves music, and everyone wants to feel better.

So, if you want to give this a try, it goes as follows:

Expect that spirit works through your phone, playlists and computer algorithms. Spirit is in EVERYTHING. The matrix has no rules when you know how to hack them with belief. Electricity and technology is Mercurial energy – that of the messenger, which is why your electronic equipment fails during Mercury retrograde. Research this – see the link – feel it – talk to a messenger spirit – work with Mercury retrograde rather than against it – and ask to work with its energy through music. It will work if you believe it can work, and trust it. If you don’t, it won’t.

Get into a trance state where you feel in the flow. Whatever medium works for you. Scrolling social media for a while is enough!

Ask a question to spirit – i.e. what am I feeling right now?

Wait for inspiration. Either scroll the playlists and choose one that resonates, for whatever reason. Or, wait for spirit to tell you the name of a playlist – or to scroll down and stop at a certain random point, and pick that. Just like tarot – the process of how you get your answers doesn’t matter, everyone will have their own way. Just trust it will work and go with your intuition or guidance.

Pick a playlist, and see if the first song feels right. If so, play the playlist sequentially. Sit back, feel the music and whatever emotions come up. Play it to the end for a full transmuting of that energy. Dance if you want – mostly just let yourself feel.

If the first song doesn’t feel right, shuffle play. Expect the first song on random to be the song you are meant to hear. It will be.

Play the music for as long as you enjoy listening to it. When it doesn’t resonate, press forward. Once you’re bored of a playlist you’re likely done with that energy, move on to whatever feels right next.

Don’t focus on the exact lyrics – focus on the overall energy of the song, and be open to guidance from spirit for the full interpretation. Sometimes the words are appropriate, sometimes not. Often 90% of the lyrics will be spot on and then there’s one line or a phrase that’s horrific, or from a time when being PC wasn’t a thing. This is where the real healing comes in. What do you find offensive? What thoughts and feelings do you have towards this song? Are those feeling from love, or fear? By exploring those feelings we can come to accept those who are different to how we are, and return to unconditional love. It’s all good for shadow work acceptance ๐Ÿ˜Š

In terms of ordering, these energies are all happening at to different people across the whole world at the same and different times. If you’re in the early stages of an awakening, try the playlists at the bottom and work up. If you’ve been awakening for a few years, start at the top and work down. If you’ve healed from most of your traumas and conditioning – or prone to emotional bypassing – you probably won’t feel drawn to these. They’re for people actively healing their shadow, by exploring the light and dark side of the human condition, not something for everyone or to listen to forever. I’ve ordered these sequentially in terms of how I experienced them in my linear time frame, but it’s not exact, and they come back around in cycles. Often I can go back a year and realise that energy has come around again in a different way – perhaps with a different person or life situation. It’s still relevent if I haven’t transmuted that karma. So many playlists become extensions of energies from the past. It’s possible to see how time works in cycles and repeats over and over again across our multiple lives, and within the one we are living in now, fractals of energy that expand until transmuted back to unconditional love – back to source. Then we become self actualised, awake, free of our patterns, conditioning and troubles. At least, that’s what the music says will be happening with me during the next few years. And it’ll happen to any soul family mirrors too, in a different order and speed. The future is golden – if we do the shadow work. We can dance each other home, walking is so last era darling โ˜บ๏ธ

At this point, having dealt with the negative energy from creating this, it feels like if I don’t share this with others I’ll be doing myself, my soul fam and my guides a disservice by keeping it to myself. It’s helped me enormously, and will continue to do so for the next few years. The more people working towards the golden age timeline, the more likely, and faster, it will manifest on Earth for more people.

If you’ve made it this far then you’re probably a collective conscious mirror and maybe meant to hear them too, so here’s the link. Gizzard was my original online username… ‘rabid gizzards’ – me subconsciously projecting my own inflamed digestive system. This playlist account helps me digest my emotions and heal from my digestive dis-ease. I’ve since changed my rabidgizzards username to something more positive โ˜บ๏ธ

Please note: I’m not your guru, teacher, saviour, antichrist, demon, angel, vampire, monster, warmonger, twin flame, or anything else I’ve heard projected at me recently. I could be all of these things or none of them, I’m free to be who I want to be, mostly I would describe myself as infinite. Except, I’m also sat on the sofa, lost in music, trance and dance and loving it.

I’m just connected to the collective unconscious and conscious, on a spiritual awakening journey, connecting with guides and soul fam along the way, and it’s likely that you are too if you’re still reading this. We’re all healing together and experiencing similar feelings. This is why some of the music will likely work for you too. I would encourage though that if it helps you, to take what music you resonate with and create your own lists. Get to know yourself through your own terms and experiences. Don’t advertise your shadow working in public like I have, until you’re feeling over it. My life may be similar but it isn’t yours and you wouldn’t want it to be. Listen to your instinct and your guides and make your own choices in life. If your path is to end up in unconditional love, non-duality and self realisation – I’ll meet you there, or consciously walk that path next to you if you like. If not, and I expect for many it isn’t, you’ll have your own path to find, and consciously working with music can help you find it enormously.

Enjoy, and I would really appreciate hearing how these affect you if you get anything from them. They will slowly program your mind, that’s the point, so be aware of what you’re getting yourself into and use your discernment for what feels right for you. Feel free to pass the URLs on to anyone you feel they might help too, if you want to share the self love and promote a peaceful musical revolution – it’s not unlikely… It’s a prophecy โ˜บ๏ธ See you in the Golden age collective, fellow roadies ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŽถโœจ

healing feels GREAT (afterwards)

An awakening, alchemical, astrological, spiritual, shamanic perspective on life, love, the universe, and everything in-between

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