Tag Archives: love

love

Soul family: mates, catalysts & flames

January 11, 2020 The Roadie 6 Comments

Some would say that life is love, the binding force that unites us through a universal consciousness. Some would say God is love – the universe is love, and love makes the world go around. By opening with this I guess I agree, but there’s much to how it both brings us together and pushes us apart in order to grow.

Soul Group

As far as I can best interpret it, we all come from a big blob of souls. Others refer to it as a soul group. These souls are in spirit form, imagine it like taking an ice cream scooper to a big lump of frogspawn – separating that lump of spawn from its original ‘collective’, and dumping it on planet Earth. The scooped out souls remain together until they each individually develop into carbon based life forms – like a tadpole – then break out of the collective to find their way individually through life. As humans it’s a little different – but harder to describe. Our souls and egos are intrinsically linked, and we find new bodies – animals and humans to inhabit, and experience our experiences on Earth. Once we have a body, our souls are both separated physically, and connected at a soul level. We may or may not be aware of that, but we feel it.

Oversouls / Monads

Each online article you may read about this might attribute different numbers of souls in our soul group and oversouls, I’ve seen a variety of theories. One common theme is attributed to our oversoul, or monad. Some say these are different levels of souls, that the monad creates the oversoul and the oversoul creates individual souls. Some say it’s the same thing. I say it’s just a label and not to worry about it much, it doesn’t really matter. Whatever it’s called, like multiplying cells it apparently ‘births’ 12 souls from it. I’ve not personally been given this information from spirit (I prefer to stay away from maths and just get the general overview!) but it seems a common and plausible theory. These monads/oversouls can spawn another 12 souls, so you have 144 (12×12) souls in a close knit soul group. These people feel like brothers and sisters, and commonly find each other across lives, continents dimensions, space and time.

I personally believe everyone has a different number of close soul family members depending on how long they have been on Earth and reincarnated, so am staying away from numbers… apart from the infamous ‘twin flame’ partner which is meant to be one soul, split into feminine and masculine halves, destined to find each other in our last lives on Earth and become whole. I’ll get to that…

Image result for oversoul diagram — Image from http://divine-cosmos.net/multidimensional-self.htm

We may not remember our ‘soul spawn’ family as people living a life in this incarnation in the 21st century, but our souls know and feel them intimately, and draw us back together repeatedly across multiple lifetimes. We bump into each other because, like a genetic family, we share similar viewpoints, backgrounds, and missions here on earth. We like the same stuff, want the same thing, and go about life similarly. Our soul family are similar to us in terms of energy, and we immediately feel comfortable with them and have an unspoken connection. We mirror each other’s lives and perspectives, and bond quickly, easily and naturally. We become what we label ‘soul mates’. As we learn our lessons from each soul mate, we find closer members of our soul spawn – people more and more like us, mirroring us a little closer each time… until we find ‘the one’.

Soul Mates

Soul mates are by no means one person in our life. We very rarely meet one soul mate and live happily ever after, although we like to try. We like to think of them romantically as the one, but they are one of many souls in our soul family’s soulspawn blob (or oversoul/monad), and are the person that’s right for us, right now, at this moment in time – energetically matched with a similar number of positive and negative behavioural attributes, and karmic lessons to learn from and transmute. They can be our spouse, lover, teacher, mother, father, friend, workmate, pet, a celebrity, or person on the internet or walking past in the street. They all have something energetically that draws us to them, something in them energy wise that we lack our self, which is why soulmate relationships often feel like we complete each other. They have what we need, want, miss – they are the yin to our yang. They’re just like us, with a few exceptions – which we perceive as good and bad.

Image result for twin flame meme — Soul mates eventually burn out

What’s happening is that yes, for now, they complete us if we rely on them to provide all the attributes we lack in the relationship, and we’re grateful and appreciative for that. We love them and need them, for that. A great and mature soul mate relationship will appreciate that completing each other isn’t the goal – we meet to learn from each other, and to provide assistance in us developing the same attributes that they possess. We are here to level each other out, on the path to finding our inner balance.

The problems in soul mate relationships start when our viewpoints shift into ‘they are wrong for doing something too much / not enough’. If we criticise, or feel defensive if the other criticises or manipulates us. When two soulmates stop feeling like we need each other, we often start to attempt to blame, change or fix the other, in line with how they perceive they should be – more like us. The ego takes over from the conscious energy, and causes hurt. This is when we start getting annoyed at each other and the once positive attraction turns toxic, creating a repelling energy instead. We cannot change anyone else – just ourselves, the balancing has to be the partner’s choice. Few people genuinely change for good if they are feeling pressured to do so. It creates resentment, which builds up over time and forces people apart.

As we grow, we discover things about each other that don’t feel complementary at all. We need multiple different energy and experiences, and that feeling of completeness gradually falls away over time. At this point, the soul contract is likely over and it’s time to move on, be single again, and learn from our lessons. There will be more soul mates when we’re feeling in a good place – more suitable ones – it’s all part of the process.

Related image — Check yourself before you wreck yourself

If we’ve engaged in a conscious, learning, mutually respectful relationship this might happen quite naturally, positively, and without hurt and arguments, as we have both gained what we need from each other and will feel grateful for that. Relationships ‘run out of steam’. We stay friends and continue to help each other through life, but not romantically or sexually – we no longer feel the need to exchange this amount of energy. However, this is a sadly rare occurrence and usually we move on in hurt, anger and blame. Alternatively, we stay together as long as possible and suck up those feelings, due to financial, legal, emotional or practical reasons. Modern day life makes it tough to be single if you want a family and a home, and many of us in a relationship don’t like the idea of being single and alone, until we get used to it again and remember the benefits of being a lone wolf.

It may be compelling energy wise if our soulmate is attractive, but it’s not always necessarily best to get it on romantically with our soul mate. We’ve been brought together to learn something from each other, see something good in each other, and develop that ability or energy within our selves. They are also there to show us something bad in ourselves – our shadow side behaviours, and in anger we often point out these features to our partners which otherwise they may not have been able to see in themselves. Soul mates are here to teach us lessons, both positive and negative, and the more energy we exchange, the more they trigger soul lessons we need to experience. Positive soul lessons are wonderful. Negative soul lessons are horrific.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is screenshot_20200109-134438__01.jpg — The key to breaking free of codependency

Energy exchange is both physical and mental – thinking about someone exchanges energy with them – talking exchanges more, hugging and kissing more, again and having sex with them exchanges the most. The more we exchange energy, the more intense our lessons will be, which s why it really is important to go slowly. Each of our soul mates have a little or a lot of lessons and energy for us to experience and integrate within ourselves – the more lessons they have for us, the more attractive we find them. They are energetically, hugely, literally attractive like a magnet, and we don’t usually know what those lessons are until we connect. This is the feeling of feeling drawn to someone for reasons we can’t logically explain, having a desperate urge to be with them.

Some soul mate relationships, even though they are clearly toxic from day one, remain unavoidably compelling until the lesson is learnt. Sometimes the lesson is merely to get out of relationships that should have ended, but we are codependent on others – or indoctrinated into the religious viewpoint that marriage is the goal for each relationship, and forever – or we have failed and we are unworthy of a long term relationship. Sometimes it takes awful experiences to drum it home, until we finally learn boundaries and to prioritise our own needs. Pain is a great teacher.

We don’t have to have a relationship – we can admire a soul mate from afar, and want to be more like them – this way we develop the attributes we need in ourselves with minimal conflict – but also, minimal enjoyment! It’s a gamble each time, as to whether we think that partner would cause us more harm than good, and vice versa. Is it worth it? Should we go for it, make the most out of life and love? Or should we protect our energy? There’s no right or wrong answer, just personal preferences and timing to consider.

Attraction doesn’t necessarily mean romantic or sexual. We can be very attracted to someone we don’t fancy at all – these people end up becoming our friends. When two soulmates’ souls are attracted to each other for necessary soul growth reasons, but only one of them finds the other physically attractive, one of them gets ‘friend zoned’. Alternatively we might find our soul mate gorgeous, but emotionally not our cup of tea as they display too many shadow side behaviours we’re not ready to deal with, and we don’t want to have a relationship with them.

My favourite soul mate is my dog. She mirrors me energetically, loves me unconditionally and doesn’t give me horrible lessons (although I still have to deal with her shit!). Pets can become perfect partners – but again – can only offer minimal enjoyment compared to a sexy human!

There are many types of soul mates which we’ve given labels to. I’m going to list a few more, but personally I think the labels are problematic and should be avoided if possible – treat people energetically rather than assigning labels, as they mean we’re more likely to have unrealistic expectations of them. I see everyone we’re attracted to as a soul mate, part of a soul family, and some are here to give us different, and more intense experiences than others.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is karmagirlfriend.gif — It always starts so well… 😉

Soul Catalysts

Soul catalysts are usually short intense relationships, designed with the karmic purpose of being so influential that they knock us out of our comfort zone and onto a self healing path. We can have more than one in our lives, and often karmically we feel we have met them before. We have. It’s our repeating roles in life, and the intense experiences and karma we create each life time make it extremely hard to overcome in a long term relationship in just the one life – there are just too many lessons to learn all at once. It’s impossible to stay together in a relationship with a soul catalyst, they are there to make us want to be together, but so difficult we break apart and vow to do better next time, to ‘fix’ ourselves, or reach for spirituality as the answer. Maybe out of regret for how we have treated them, or as assistance we desperately need for how they have treated us, or both. They may be relatively short lived experiences, but we remember these connections for the rest of our lives as turning points, where we began to strive to improve ourselves – to treat ourselves, and others better, often guided by spirit.

They are really important people. If we’re lucky we can remain friends and continue to advise and support each other along our spiritual paths – but it takes a lot of conscious effort and forgiveness to do so.

Partners in Crime

If you try online dating, you’ll see many a person looking for their partner in crime, without having a clue what they are actually referring to. Our partners in crime have karmically been just that – people we have explored our shadow side behaviours with in past lives. Maybe we were criminals, drug takers, prostitutes, warlords, anything which is now deemed naughty or unacceptable in modern day society. Our souls yearn for those fun, naughty experiences once again so we can see our shadow sides within us, and learn to resolve how we feel about these activities. To transmute our shadow feelings into light – by repeating them and learning not to do it again in this life. We know our partner in crime will have our backs, having had them before. We look out for each other. Its a tight knit bond, although not necessarily the most wholesome one. We might not, for example, reenact being warlords if previously we have gone into battle together, but might both gang up emotionally on other people – feeling it’s us against the world. We will replay in some minor, (hopefully) culturally acceptable aspect the behaviours we experienced with each other before.

We might have one, or many partners in crime, depending on what we got up to in our past lives. Whatever happens with these soul family members, you know you’re going to have fun! Bear in mind however, they may not be the best person for us in the long term, unless we are conscious of this dynamic from the beginning and both choose to adopt a lighter path in this life time.

False Flames

Are they twin flames or false flames? We just don’t know, but we live in hope until our energy and soul have been given such a beating we don’t want to know either way. False flames draw us in and burn us to a crisp. They are the best, and then they are the worst experience.

It’s not necessarily them, or their personality that’s the problem – I hope not, I’ve encountered false flames, so therefore I must be one as well. The attraction between us however, is so intense that it’s impossible to get them out of our heads and hearts until we have been literally dragged over the coals of love and despair.

A false flame is someone we think may be a twin flame – our perfect partner, the one. With so much in common and so little problems to perceive at first, they come across as pretty perfect. Our ideal partner, everything we’ve ever wanted. We fall head over heels with them fast and hard. There’s no holding back, the attraction is immense, the sex amazing, maybe the best we’ve ever had. In perfect harmony, supportive, loving, fun, on a level of closeness never witnessed before. We finish each others sentences, feel each other’s thoughts, everything looks and feels like the fabled twin flame experience – for a while.

Image result for divine partnership meme — Quick, switch their toothpaste!

Then one day, everything starts falling apart, just as fast and hard as how we fell for each other. We enter the push and pull stage. Running and chasing. One finds it overwhelming and bolts for the door – the other is left yearning desperately wondering what’s wrong, unable to let go or move on, just trying to fix the situation. That’s the problem – and the lesson.

False flames are a preparatory relationship for a twin flame – they break us of every bad habit and desire to be in a relationship, by being so impossible to get over that no-one else can do, but being impossible to get together – someone is always running away. It’s just too intense. We end up thinking that we never want to experience this heartbreak again, and we learn to let go of our codependency, and our need for anyone else. We find ourselves, our self love, our self care, because we have to. Personally, I was so ruined I turned to poetry for the first time. They are pure pleasure, and then pure pain. If we get back together, it’s the same thing over and over again. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. They burn us out, and we do the same to them.

Image result for soul mate meme — The soul contract is over!

False flames destroy our 3D way of thinking and our traditional expectations of relationships. We rebuild ourselves from heartbreak a brand new person, never wanting to fall so hard or carelessly again. We grow up, develop boundaries, walls, and get on with our own lives – perhaps healthily, or unhealthily.

Then, we might meet another false flame, if we’ve not gotten over them or fully learnt our lessons. If we’re unlucky, we may continue to meet these types of relationships, so close to perfection, but there’s something wrong – we want it too much. We’re pushing for a relationship, needing to have a partner, searching for our true twin flame. Until we are completely self sufficient and have no desire for a relationship, false flames are always a potential match waiting to be struck. Be careful of that fire!

Divine Feminine / Masculine Partner

Tempered and wiser from our past partnerships, the divine partnership is an entirely different kettle of fish. Here we have two people who have done a lot of self work on themselves, understanding their flaws and strengths, working through our shadow behaviours, and ready to have a conscious relationship without the problems of traditional 3D partnerships. If anything such as codependency crops up, it’s addressed. If a partner oversteps any boundaries, it’s addressed. A divine partner should be well in touch with both their own masculinity and femininity, whichever gender they fall under. Each has done the work to not need a anyone by realising we’re our own twin flame, that we ourselves are the partner we’ve always been looking for, by embracing the energy of the opposite gender within ourselves. We’re more balanced, happier on our own, and a partner is complementary, rather than completing. There’s nothing to complete, as we’re grand all by ourselves.

Image result for you're so down to earth and i'm up in the stars

The feminine is strong, empowered, no longer fearing or controlling the masculine with any games or manipulation. The masculine is soft, gentle, no longer needing to use force or domination to control the feminine. We meet as equals. Control has gone, because there’s no need to try and turn the partner into something to appease our own ego. Our ego is in check. Our anger issues, guilt, shame, fear – shadow sides to our personalities, resolved or minimised, or being consciously worked through with each other’s support and understanding.

Of course, it’s by no means perfect. We’re still probably healing and undoing the years of 3D beliefs and relationship behaviours we were indoctrinated into beforehand. Often karmic issues may come up and rock the boat. We might begin to remember past lives – developed enough psychically and feeling safe enough to express and work through such sensitive issues with the other to support us. We will be stretched and tested, massively, to ensure we really are balanced and unconditionally loving. If so, the partnership can evolve and both can complete their healing journey together, hand in hand. If not, it becomes overwhelming and we need to break up. It might end up perfect, or might end up nearly perfect. Either way, it won’t ruin us as much as a false flame experience, because we are no longer easily broken or fooled. A divine partnership can run for the rest of our lifetimes quite happily, because there is no need to stay together – no pressure – no problem to be alone again if necessary – and that removes the need for all of the reasons people traditionally break up. They appear in divine timing, just when we need them – ironically when we feel we no longer need a partner. It feels like a cosmic reward for all of the hard self healing work we’ve done.

Twin Flames

There is so much about twin flames on the internet I hardly feel the need to write much about them. The one. Our other half. Our Heaven on Earth. The masculine/feminine split soul of ourselves from our original incarnation. The person who will never say a bad word to you, will always support you lovingly unconditionally, psychically in tune with each other, communicating telepathically, with no secrets. You in another gender’s body (traditionally – the body’s gender doesn’t matter any more, you’re both masculine and feminine). The perfect relationship.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 39976803_269495633671005_5774053633586888704_n.jpg — Twin flame union takes a lot of work

Alas, spirit tells me, in contradiction to most of the internet, that there is no such person. It’s a lie. A lure. A trick to get us to work on ourselves so hard that we reach the stage where we no longer feel the need, or want a relationship. A cosmic joke to get us to the stage where we are happy to remain single forever, because the search for our twin flame and the relationships along the way break us out of this mindset.

And yet, it is a thing, because any soul mate can become the ideal relationship. Twin flame energy is a state of mind. A contractual link between two soul mates who grow together. They could be soul mates, false flames, divine partners – there is no the one for us. The dynamic doesn’t fit into the soul spawn analogy. Our souls haven’t been split into two, for us to find each other across space and time. It’s a romantic story that keeps us trapped into a push/pull dynamic with soul family until we are ready for each other – the objective every time to learn to let go of relationships that aren’t working. Every time – to find our twin flame, we have to let go of wanting them unless everything is already working out perfectly. Impossible, many will say – and I certainly relate to that, for quite some time. Upon actually letting go of the person I thought was my twin flame – the first soul mate I felt telepathically linked to, I was told afterwards my twin flame could be any soul mate.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is tumblr_p9wyleMm5e1wsvihuo1_540.jpg

There is a lot of money to be made by promising that we can do X and Y to attract our running twin flame. People run businesses off of the basis. It taps into people’s need to find and be with these partners, which goes against the entire point of it – to let go. To stop needing a partner. To find love and balance within ourselves. Time and time again I have questioned this, absolutely certain and projecting the twin flame energy onto a soul mate who I was certain was my twin, because of the telepathy and intense push/pull energy between us, and the near perfect astrological setup which would make them theoretically ideal. And they could in fact become that perfect partnership – but many a time people will report their twin is a complete horror show, and they want nothing to do with them. Many a time people will begin running, and go backwards in their healing, falling back on old habits that mean they descend back into a hell mindset. This is when we need to let go. Then we meet someone else! If it’s not working out, just, let, go. I know, easier said than done, but this is all a part of the healing journey, to break us of our need for anyone but ourselves. Whoever we perceive our twin to be, they are likely the most compelling reason to heal in our awakening process. If we both heal, then the twin flame story and union can happen. If not, one of them switches off, and the other lives in emotional agony – unless they can truly let go. Pain is a very compelling teacher…

Soul mates summary

The thing with soulmates in our family oversoul is that whatever label we give them, if we can love them unconditionally, in the now, with no expectations of each other, and both treat each other with kindness and support, working through our shadow behaviours together – whilst avoiding completing each other and codependency – they can become our healthy, mutually healing ideal life partner for the remainder of our lives. As we heal together we develop the psychic bonds between each other and slowly turn into each other. We balance each other out, take on each other’s behaviours and preferences, through love. Love brings us together and binds us together.

It’s more likely though that until we are very nearly, or completely healed from our dark night of the soul and past life karma, that we will be unable to treat our partner like this. Jealousy, anger, fear, addictions, depression, all these kinds of shadow behaviours that are in us all, block us from this twin flame state of mind. Once we work through these issues, our twin flame arrives on the scene, or someone we know suddenly seems perfect for us. They are perfect to us at this stage, because they are soul family, have loads in common, and have very few personality problems – the same as us, because we’ve both healed.

But if they are married, die, in a different country we can’t move to, unavailable for any reason – we can let go and move on. Another perfect partner will pop up, if we believe that will be the case. We are never trapped into a reality where we are doomed to have a less than perfect relationship if we continue to let go of attachment, and heal ourselves. Just keep doing this, and it will all turn out brilliantly.

So i’m told, by spirit. Very firmly. Repeatedly. However – big caveat – I’m also told by spirit that I am given the information I need to know, right now. I’ll never know this for certain until I am ‘healed’ – whatever that means, because it’s all a process. I’m not there yet, I’ve more healing to do. If I was healed, I doubt I would be writing this. Our relationships hurts cause us to be creative, to express our angst, needs and learnings, to help heal ourselves through healing others. It’s because of my ‘twin flame’ that I am writing this. One day, I truly believe, it will all come good, with whoever that is meant to be with.

Until then, I’ll continue to attempt to live in the now, with no yearning, happy on my own, just focusing on myself and my own healing, and experiencing relationships with partners if and when it feels right to do so, whatever label they feel like. Live in the now, and take each moment and potential partner as they come. Accept myself and them as they are and hope they do the same with me.

After all of this lengthy write up – that’s all there is to it, really! Live in the now, man – the hippies were right.

Good luck to us all, and remember, it’s all happening in perfectly divine timing ❤

life, love, uncategorized

The meaning of life

January 6, 2020 The Roadie Leave a comment

What is life? What’s it all about? What a question. There are a few differing definitions, to say the least. Life is love! Feeling gives life meaning. Life is the universe expressing itself. And of course, if you’re a geek like me then the meaning of life is 42. You’re going to get a different answer depending who you ask.

Life is pain and pleasure

If you ask me, and you kind of are right now, life is paaaain. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? Well yes, this is my dramatic opening statement, but bear with me, it gets better. On the most part life is about experiencing experiences, and through pain we grow, learn, and have better experiences. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – pain is the flip side to pleasure, and through first experiencing pain we later experience more pleasure than we were capable of experiencing before. Otherwise, a pleasurable experience is just normal, and we take it for granted, so it loses its meaning. The more pain we experience, the more pleasure we can appreciate. Not always though. Only if we choose to, as happiness is a choice.

Life is Heaven and Hell

Pain is heavy maaan, literally, it’s a denser lower vibrational energy than pleasure, and it literally sucks us down. Physical, mental, or emotional, pain sucks us down into our own personal hell, and life on Earth is then lived out as if we were in Hell – which essentially we are. Most people live in ‘Hell’, as this world is setup for humans to do so, it keeps people under control, a cruel but clever management technique. People in hell work hard to try to find their way out of it, and in this society we think that money brings us pleasure. Sometimes it can, and sometimes it traps us in a hellish mindset where money becomes more important than love, and we forget what real pleasure is actually about. We numb ourselves to life through work, over thinking, TV, sex, food, drink or drugs, addictions of all sorts, anything to make us feel a little better, in the moment.

Humans are kept working hard to buy things they don’t really need, so they can feel temporarily happy. True happiness awaits us at retirement when we are often too old to fully enjoy life, especially if working has damaged our mind, body and soul. Humans are kept working hard to increase their country’s GDP, too tired to become a problem, and too numb to remember what life should really be about.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘retail therapy’

Who do you know is truly happy rather than content, or struggling on through life? What’s the ratio to unhappy people you know? Usually we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have a good enough partner, we don’t have enough friends, we don’t have the perfect face or body, we don’t have the perfect home or family, we don’t have enough stuff, etc. Capitalism and marketing provides us a drip feed feeling of emotional lack and pain, which keeps us in an emotional state of ‘Hell’.

Life is like Star Wars

Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering – emotional, physical and spiritual. Just as religious texts teach it, so does spirituality, and so does Star Wars. The force is energy, the light side is ‘good’, the dark side is ‘evil’, Star Wars is a modern day storytelling of ‘the father, son and holy spirit’ for audiences who have lost their connection to spirit, but feel okay to call it an imaginary force because that’s not religious. It’s all the same thing. Watch it again – see how morals become corrupted, and an empire and relationships once in ‘Heaven’ descends to ‘Hell’ through pain, anger, revenge, and passed down karma to repay.

Ever notice how the Star Wars films are three cycles of trilogies, all repeating similar themes from a different perspective or with different characters? This is the cycle of life we also live in, the number 3 is very important. What goes around comes around, and you can’t escape from your past. Instead, face your fears, you must – this is the path of the Jedi!

Life is about Karma

So life is kinda like Star Wars, and some appreciate that more than others. Life is also joy, if we choose to work through our own dark side and choose to embody the light side within us – that’s where we find our pleasure. Some of us are lucky enough to be born into an environment with a support system which leads us to live relatively easy, joyful lives. That usually happens because we’ve worked off a lot of karma in our last lives. We are born, reincarnated with karma / sin, into a tricky astrological setup to make peace with, or born into poverty or a country having a hard time, etc.

If not, we just have parents, and every parent gives their child something to work out later on in life, as parents pass on their karma to their kin. Or we have no parents we know of, and additional issues to work out from that. We inherit both our ancestral karma from our family lineage, and our own past life Karma. We’re all karma karma karma karma karma chameleons. It binds us together and dominates our life experiences until we work our way through it. Some people say they have none, that karma doesn’t carry across over reincarnations – well, maybe they don’t, perhaps they’re playing a different game of life to the one i’m familiar with, but this theory fits perfectly for me.

Through this karmic challenge we inherit, we attract appropriate life situations and people to reflect our karma back to us, and if we make good intuitive decisions which feels right for us, we learn to pay back that karma and experience more joy in our lives. Alternatively, we stay suffering. If we do, we’ve likely made others suffer in this, or our past lives, and we need to understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that, so we stop doing it. Life isn’t necessarily fair – on a single life basis. Often the karmic life lessons we get are worse than what we feel we deserve – often this is a lesson to smack us in the face and jolt us out of our dark side behaviour if we’re not listening to the universe’s subtler messages. Over multiple lives though, life is perfectly balanced.

Life is about improving ourselves

Essentially life is about making ourselves better in some way – the human spirit strives to improve itself – because we all begin our lives as karma-ridden kids unless this is our very first incarnation on earth. We are first incarnated into simple organisms, and learn how to live as them. When we reincarnate, we come back as a slightly more advanced life form if we deserve it, if we mastered the last one’s lessons. After a few simple lives, we turn into creatures with emotions, and then those creatures attack each other usually, out of necessity to survive. The animal kingdom is cruel, and we become so in order to live, it’s dog eat dog out there without civilisation to give us rules to abide to. No matter how saintly we think we are as humans living in the modern age with our etiquette and pleasantries, we have all lived past lives full of stuff like murder, rape, torture, cheating, lying, warfare – everything. We’ve either been on the receiving end of it or dished it out, but we all have bad memories to or repay by experiencing something similar. If not as humans, then as animals at least. Every. Single. Human. We can’t be saints without first have been a sinner.

Once we get to the human stage, we have, in theory, developed the capacity to determine ‘right from wrong’. We have moral compasses, culture to conform to, and the ability to empathise with other’s pain. When we’re at this stage, we’re meant to stop acting like savages and evolve. Some of us do, and some of us keep acting like animals. For the latter, they get to be an animal in their next life, as they’ve shown they’re not ready for being a decent human yet. Humans are animals too. We live a lot of lives, as males, females, and a variety of species. We do it all. It’s just that each time we start again we mentally forget, while we instinctively remember, and repeat our patterns.

Life is about experiencing life

Is this your soul purpose? Someone’s gotta do it, for the sake of the universe!

We’re all God’s children, the religious will say. The universe wants to experience itself, the spiritual will say. Same thing.

Whatever we call it, spirit doesn’t have a body, but it has consciousness it shares with us. Imagine you were a spirit without form – what would you do? You would likely want to enjoy yourself, basically. See what you can do with a body. You’d want to explore, learn, travel, love, fight, feel, make something more of yourself – you would want to live. Our souls feel this way too, because our souls are spirit. We’re unhappy when we’re out of alignment our soul’s purpose. If we do what the universe would rather we didn’t, we don’t have a good time.

Life is about finding our soul’s purpose

We all have a soul’s purpose, or destiny, or something we always felt we wanted to do. Something we were meant for. What would you do if money was no object, if you had the material possessions you wanted, and were single and happy with that? If you wanted for nothing, what would you do? That’s your soul’s purpose. It might be working! That’s fine, lucky you if so. More often than not, it’s not, and not many of us get to do what we feel we were born to do, because we have to earn money to survive. Life on Earth is about trying to find a way back to our soul’s purpose, because that’s what will bring us joy. That’s our Heaven on Earth. To get there we’ve got to work through our pain / karma.

Life is what you make of it

There is another essential aspect to consider; life is what we make of it. Destiny may be fixed, but there’s no fate but what we make. We may have a general inescapable theme to our lives set in our soul contracts / astrology setup, but the way in which we go about it, how, where, and who we do that with are all subject to change, and what we attract along the way. We make our own luck, we’re in charge of our own life, dreams can come true, we are the magic makers, the dreamers of dreams, what we focus on we attract. What do these common phrases mean?

We are what we eat, we are what we think, but mostly we are what we feel. What we feel becomes an energy we carry around with us. This energy then attracts both equal, and opposing energies towards it, like a magnet; our ‘magnetic personalities’. Broadly speaking, an empath will attract another empath, and a narcissist. A hateful person attracts other hateful people and a forgiving person. Opposites can both repel and attract each other, because we are energetically instinctively drawn to certain people whose energies match ours, both in a mix of similar, and opposing energies.

Life is love

We attract both our light side and our dark side mirrors. It’s a mixture of attracting what we need for our soul’s purpose, and it’s always a blend of energies that both repel and attract in various different amounts… relationships stay together if they remain more positive than negative over time. Someone needs to provide the positivity – if it’s just one, then that energy is drained over time until both feel negatively about themselves, each other and the relationship, then break up or stick it out for the sake of the kids/marriage. Once we have gained enough positive energy back, we give it another try, having learnt whatever lessons we needed to learn. Periods of time alone in-between relationships helps, if we don’t want to go straight into another similar situation on the rebound. We can’t solve our problems when we bounce from one relationship to the other, we simply project our problems onto our partner instead. We can think and feel our way out of these repeating patterns.

Soul mates, be them family, friends, acquaintances or lovers, are our karmic lessons, we attract each other to show us aspects of our personalities that we don’t want to see; our shadow sides. When we throw shade or blame at our karmic partner, or strongly deny that we aren’t like X or Y, this is our shadow speaking. Your partner will likely think the opposite – it takes one to know one! How we emotionally handle this determines whether we grow from it, stay stuck with it, or make it worse. If we keep attracting the same type of people, we are the problem in a way we still can’t see. We need to learn from them, rather than blame them for everything. We can rarely change anyone. We can change and better ourselves – our own energy – and then our partners either raise their level to meet us, or we split and later attract people with similar, healed energy. We have a slightly better life with them, learn more lessons, and evolve. If we both evolve together, we are much more likely to stay together. Relationships are quite simple when we get down to the nuts and bolts of it. Is our energy either higher, or lower than theirs? Will we bring each other down to Hell, split up, or raise each other up to Heaven?

Life is about learning lessons

In learning our lessons from each other, we can grow from them. This repays our karma. The religious viewpoint of repenting from your sins is pretty over the top in my opinion, it’s simply about making good life choices, that feel in line with our soul’s purpose. Go with your gut – rather than self-flagellation.

Life is about experiencing things and people, messing up, learning what we did wrong, and doing better. On repeat, over and over again. This is how we become happy, find joy, experience more pleasure. Once we break out of a hell mindset, joy enters our lives. Once it does, if we expect to attract more joy, we do. Vicious cycles are broken, and life becomes a snowball of incremental happiness (mixed in with any difficult lessons necessary for growth along the way). There’s a formula to life, how to fit within and go along with its flow, how life cycles work, what to expect in your life at certain ages and astrological events, etc.

Life can become a lot easier and enjoyable if we pay attention to what’s happening beneath our automatic, instinctive emotional reactions. This allows us to see our dark, shadow side, and work our way out of it. When we learn to love life, then life loves us back 😊

Life is about appreciating life

So in summary, what is the meaning of life? It feels arrogant of me to provide an answer to that, but because I am 42 right now, I’m giving it a go. Life is to experience experiences, both enjoyable and unenjoyable. To feel, rather than to numb ourselves through it. Without the bad, there can be no good. Life is to love; ourselves and each other. To attract people and situations to allow us to see both our own light and shadow side behaviour, so we can understand, accept, and grow from it, in order to attain a more pleasurable life afterwards. Just like a flower or tree or a mythical Jedi, we start off in a dark place and grow towards the light. Life is beautiful, and so are you. Someone out there thinks so, you’re the way you are for a reason, and the energetic mirror to someone else to help them grow too.

So appreciate life, every day if you can, all the difficulties and the pleasures, because if you’re reading this, whatever is going on in your life you have the means to read the internet, likely a roof over your head, food in your belly, and you’re educated enough to read – and learn – and you’re growing. You’re doing OK at life. Give yourself a pat on the back, and say thanks to whatever and whoever you feel gave you this life, and it will get a little better, every single day 😁 Whether you’re an internet stranger or friend or family, thankyou for reading this and therefore energetically being a part of my life, I am very grateful 🙏

life, love, masculine/feminine balance, toxicity

Working through toxic masculinity

November 18, 2019 The Roadie Leave a comment

As a bloke I’ve been running on automatic, and an egocentric idiot, in my past, and less so now but still in the present day. These days I am at least more self aware, and able to rectify myself when i feel it’s necessary. At the start of this healing journey I had no clue was toxic – I was a nice guy – overly empathic and giving, attracting narcissistic relationships. Ugh, how much I’ve learnt since then. I’m going to capture my thoughts on the undoing of my own toxicity; masculine and feminine, as I identify it within myself. It’s an ongoing mission…

Previously, I’ve focused on my needs and thought relationships were about finding the right person to fit into the tick box list of acceptable criteria I approved of. People who would fit around my issues and weirdness. If they didn’t, they had an issue and I would point it out.

I’ve been defensive and told intuitive people they were wrong, out of defence and shame for my own actions when pointed out. Defensiveness leads to gaslighting, sadly. Most of us don’t realise we’re even doing it, we just project that shame into anger and push it back. It feels justified at the time, few people are actual narcissists – we all have narcissistic tendencies however, especially if we are acting from shadow impulses, unaware of why we are acting forcefully or defensively.

I grew up in a wounded society, living under the rules of the Church, the entitled and privileged ego of the British Empire, patriarchy and capitalism. This is what I perceive as my toxicity to remove, one bit at a time. To undo the programming put into me, by finding myself through spirit and undoing the behaviours I’ve been taught were ‘right’, which my soul feels are ‘wrong’.

Towards the end of my thirties, my soul felt like it was screaming that everything felt wrong. The idea of releasing and transmuting my negative emotions was completely alien to me. I would have laughed it off and played a competitive video game instead, to take my mind off of the increasing tension and pain in my body and life. Had I not addressed this, I can totally appreciate how I would have ended up a typically shut down, suicidal mid fourties male, unable to comprehend or deal with all of the emotions that I had bottled up for decades. Most men simply don’t understand this until it reaches crisis point, which is why I write articles like this.

We have all kinds of wounds from a society that doesn’t promote individual health as paramount – war wounds, ancestral and past life karma, father wounds, mother wounds, inner child wounds, relationship wounds, etc etc. Men are assigned a role from birth as the provider, the defender, the reliable, strong one. While we progress through life without realising or addressing how these wounds and programming affect us, they show up subconsciously in our own behaviour, to make our, and other people’s lives difficult. Emotions don’t get dealt with, instead they turn into resentful behaviour patterns, mental and physical illnesses. We hurt the ones we love, unless we address our inner hurt.

From where i’m sat, we live in a society where the women, in relationships, rule the roost usually. They are more likely to express and deal with their emotions. They know things. They feel things. If we screw up, they’re onto it. They often know best, emotionally, while men stereotypically focus on practical, logical matters. Men counteract emotional intelligence with domination energy in some form, pushing back to shut down the perceived threat.

We need to balance ourselves, start listening, stop pushing, stop denying we’re less than perfect and realise it’s OK to screw up, what’s not OK is to focus on the other person’s perceived screw ups and tell them they need to change. Like attracts like. We are all damaged, both genders, living in a world of duality where men and women see each other as the problem. We all need to back off and give each other a break, because we are all the potential problem for someone else.

When the masculine stop energetically attacking, either aggressively or defensively, then the feminine can begin to heal… They can slowly realise the previous threats they’ve encountered from other men won’t happen here, and can begin to relax and lower their defences. We can begin to balance out, level off, and meet in the middle. At this point the feminine are often confronted with their own toxicity – no longer needing to employ tactics to work around the masculine’s aggressiveness, their own issues suddenly become apparent, as we have all attempted to control each other in the past, one way or another. Feminine tactics usually use more subtle forms of control – guilt, silence, social triangulation, or emotional manipulation is very effective at counteracting any masculine dominant energy. We all balance each other out one way or another! It takes time and understanding to work through this, usually through relationships where good communication, mutual respect and understanding, setting healthy boundaries and holding space for each other can take place to encourage mutual healing.

Apart from attracting healthier future relationships and healing ourselves, there’s a carrot on a stick for fellas by embracing their own inner feminine energy. By learning to breathe properly, slowing down, stop pretending everything’s fine, accepting help and opening our hearts, something happens. Our defences lessen and we become more reasonable. We learn about ourselves. People are nicer to us. Our intuition switches on. Our psychic abilities develop. Suddenly we know what’s going on like our partners always have done, and can’t be fooled like before. We know when others are projecting their toxicity onto us. Then we have that same power we’ve been trying to shut down in our partners before, and we can relax and begin to heal as well. We no longer need to be aggressive or forceful, and stop. Defenses can be lowered, all round. When both parties in a relationship have great intuition, there’s no room for games – it promotes an honest, trusting, mutually beneficial, supportive relationship dynamic.

That’s my goal and reason for doing this inner work. Is that self serving and narcissistic? Should I be focusing on myself only? Probably, but also I am human, and I know what I want in life in order to be as happy as I can be. I’ve spent most of my awakening journey in isolation, and while I am really comfortable with that and pretty happy overall, it’s not what I want forever. I believe we find our healthy relationships by doing the inner work first. Find balance within ourselves, to end up not needing a relationship – that’s when we are in the best place to have a healthy one. I’d rather not be doing inner work forever, at some point I hope to run out of issues to correct within myself, truly love myself with an overflowing cup, and be ready for the kind of life and partnership I dream of, but I know it comes first by continually accepting and finding balance within myself first.

Find happiness and your ideal relationship within yourself, first

So men; if you want to feel genuinely strong, allow yourself to feel gentle first. Embrace your inner femininity without fear – it will make you ultimately far more powerful as a person than focusing on traditional masculine pursuits such as being physically and financially powerful. Power comes with responsibility, and currently there are too many powerful men in this world showing they don’t know how to handle that quite yet, including myself. It’s not a quick fix and it takes time – but it’s definitely worth it. Just gently keep plugging away at the honest work ☯️

Note: we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy. Many men are mostly feminine and many women are mostly masculine. Culture is changing big time, and in the future we’re likely to become a pretty androgynous species. We have a 50/50 energy spilt available to us to tap into, so this is at least partially relevant for whichever gender – or absence of – that you personally identify with.

Source Code Consciousness