Manifesting a new earth’s golden age

So I’ve been banging on about the golden age for some time now, feeling it and working towards sharing those feels with the conscious collective for a few years. http://www.instagram.com/awakeameme was my place to see and address the obstacles to that path, and mostly working through my dark night of the soul’s shadow work rather than positive visioning manifesting. I’m doing more of that now, and I’m much more consciously aware of how my words affect my and others reality these days. Writing things down really does help make it happen, and publishing it publicly makes it happen faster.

So, what is the golden age energy I’m feeling?

It’s a future which hasn’t manifested in 3D yet. But consciously, it’s kicking in, and growing like seeds. The seeds are sown. Flowers, which when grown will create more flowers. As linear time unfolds it becomes a field of sunflowers, and I’m standing in it going “ahh this is lovely!”

Every positive thought towards a golden future makes a difference

It’s an energetic template to embody – like a divine feminine/masculine, twin flame, that sort of thing. It’s a combination of these, and kicks in when combined with emotional alchemy and self actualisation through healing our negative karma, with light, shadow and inner child work.

It’s a combination of the masculine force – God energy, and feminine flow – Goddess energy. Rather than being about the battle between light and dark, it’s appreciation that without darkness there can be no light – it’s making peace with our own shadows and no longer fearing ourselves or each other. Respect and reverence for all and realising we are all opposite reflections of the same thing – and that we are all one. It’s a place where different religions and factions of spirituality learn to appreciate each other’s perspectives, and how similar all are underneath the historical infighting. It’s to feel the Alpha and Omega inside of us and reach creator mode, where what we say and do affects our outer reality much faster. It’s a mental dimension and mood to reach – then the challenge is to stay in that mindset and energy while the 3D world reacts in 🀯 as they don’t know what to do with it. It’s ‘holding the line’ in 3D until reality reflects our positive feelings back to us. It feels like becoming like a sun, and seeing the planets orbit around you, but rarely too closely. The people who resonate with you are either their own suns too, or close to becoming one. And that’s ok, as we don’t need anyone, we’re happy and full of love for ourselves, with a full love cup and a radiating upper heart chackra. Sun-flowers. Others make life better, rather than fill a hole in our sole, as our souls are restored, and our energy is no longer being depleted by negative forces. Instead of chasing what we need, we attract it by living our best lives, until we need for nothing. It’s inner and outer peace.

One for all, and all for one love!

In terms of relationships it’s letting go of attachment, yet still loving fully. It’s like everyone is each others ‘twin flame’, and can unconditionally love from the heart, without the drama. Codependency, envy, loneliness and jealously fall away and are replaced with appreciation for the other having a fulfilling life, while encouraging you to do so also. If that’s the traditional family unit, great, that works for many and there is no need for anything to change. If it isn’t, it’s freedom and encouragement to be whoever you are, with shame and judgement replaced with acceptance and appreciation for life’s rich tapestry of different ways to feel and be. It’s the end to having to conform to rules set by others on how we should feel – it’s freedom to be ourselves!

Connected through unconditional love, we mentally, emotionally, and physically feel each other’s energetic bodies. We know and feel if we’ve made someone happy or upset, and as it affects us too, we instinctively own our issues and try to make things better. It’s knowing and feeling that to hurt another is to hurt yourself, and to love another is to love yourself. It reinforces the basic core guidance of spirituality and religion – to treat others as we wish to be treated, and to treat ourselves as we wish others treated us. It’s appreciating that we’re all mirrors of each other, and instead of trying to change someone else, we heal ourselves and let the other make their own decisions in their own time. It’s letting go of controlling others, and supporting them, if they want it. The global energy of control shifts towards collaboration and equality.

It’s a place of healing where grown ups heal from their limiting conditioning and traumas, and children grow up in safe and loving environments, with enough responsible adults to care for them, so they never learn early trauma, codependency or loneliness. They grow up to be healthier and happier than we were, with positive, healthy influences looking after them in a supportive environment, more like a tribal setting, who I believe we can learn so much from on how to live connected with each other, the land, seasons and spirit. The golden age feels in tune with the natural rhythms of Gaia, space and time, with galactic natural law and time restored on earth to the 13 moon cycle calendar – turtle time!

Natural time is where synchronicity is the default setting for life, rather than an occasional surprise, and we synch back up with the natural rhythms and flow of mother Earth’s seasons, instinctively feeling her – as birds do, for example. From this place we are in tune with the seasons, what we feel we should do, and when. We all flow naturally, like a turtle riding the current – living in the now.

Turtle interpretation from the Oneida people 🐒

From here, life progresses effortlessly. It becomes a breeze. Guided by the energies and at one with the Tao we feel connected with everything, yet still feel like individuals who can choose to live the life they want to to live. It’s a combination of our egos working in collaboration with spirit, letting go of blame or rejection of either.

With all of this self love, acceptance and sharing comes natural flowing abundance, in health, wealth and love for and from others. Everyone has their basic needs met, and survival mode is no longer a thing. Financially all have enough to live on if they choose a simple life, with a warm and happy home to live in. New forms of free, sustainable energy become available through combining the technology of past civilisations with Tesla’s models, with capitalism and profits no longer being the sole driving force behind infrastructure investment.

Everyone has the option to work if they want to earn more and improve their lives, and many will want to, so we can still live within a system with electricity and supermarkets and cities and whatnot – if we choose that life. No-one has to lose a lifestyle they love, if it’s working for them. Change is optional. For those who don’t want to work in the traditional 9-5 sense, land is freed up and allocated to people who are free to create their own self sufficient communities, with freedom to live as they choose. Council standards are relaxed and communities are free to choose their own rules to live by. Borders are open, immigration is encouraged, humans are free to be and live however and wherever they choose.

Plant those trees and permaculture plots all over the place!

There is no class system – everyone gets the same living wage from a central, global fund (relative to each country’s basic living requirements) and decides what to do with it. The living wage actually covers living and housing requirements, rather than being a pittance trapping people into poverty. Rather than being seen as benefits, it’s an individual living wage all are entitled to by default. Corporations pay full tax, no exclusions, no foreign bank accounts. Individuals have a cap on the amount of savings they can horde, with anything over an alloted amount automatically diverted to a central fund, devoted to charities cleaning up the planet.

People can still work to become rich if they want – but this savings/profit limit encourages the rich to spend regularly, and funnel their profits back into society. Workers are treated with respect, because they don’t financially rely on their job, and are therefore free to leave any roles that aren’t treating them well. Many people want to work, when they enjoy their work. Physically and emotionally demanding jobs are the best paid roles, i.e. nurses are paid far more than office workers. Fair treatment and pay returns to the job market.

Politicians return to their original function of being true servants to the people. The left vs right system of politics is disbanded, and replaced with country councils of experts in their field, democratically voted in by the people. Information is shared across the globe, working collaboratively on initiatives, based on which country is doing best in their respective areas of expertise. Political promises made are recorded and checked, and those who fulfil their promises stay elected. If not there is a democratic election to replace one person at a time. Politics media spin is replaced by fact checking promises vs results. To encourage more long term sustainable investment initiatives for the future, political experts stay in their role for as long as they are doing a good job. All politicians are monitored independently for corruption, and that group are monitored for corruption too. The watchers watch the watchers watching the watchers.

Human rights, where all are respected as autonomous sovereign beings, are paramount. Everyone has individual free will and choice over what they allow into their bodies, minds, hearts, energy field and souls, and how they choose to live. Political councils are there to organise democratically voted in initiatives rather than dictate them. The people have the power.

We’re literally all in this together

We experience both security, and freedom. We get what we need automatically – and we can work if we want to appeal to our ego’s wants and desires, to improve our life to have more luxury – but it is no longer a necessity to survive. We can be still, or achieve, with no pressure to do either unless it feels right for us. We are free to fulfill our soul’s purpose (dharma) without the need to work to survive. Our soul’s purpose feels more like fun than work, and we heal ourselves and others, rippling peace and love out to the planet and wider cosmos.

It’s the end to poverty and hunger, and solution to our growing population’s food issues. People feel free, emotionally fulfilled, no longer slaves, no longer energetically manipulated/raped/abused/disrespected/depleted by the system. With this shift people naturally stop wanting to eat meat or dairy, as they no longer resonate with or require food with similar energy to take the edge off of their emotions – which they no longer need to suppress to get through their stressful working day. As within, so without. As jobs and pay become fairer, people eat lighter and healthier.

The 5 day working week is reduced to 4, and later 3 days a week where feasible. By restoring our weekly work/life balance back to health and having more rest time than work, while eliminating our environmental and emotional problems, the world slowly and gently turns vegetarian, and then vegan. Love and compassion for all replace fear, stress and a dog eat dog attitude. Love becomes our default feeling for all sentient beings, and we live in harmony as one. Addictions to take the edge off of trauma and stress, also naturally come to an end. The planet is emotionally alchemised back to full health and harmony.

We need much less food, as our emotions are already fulfilled – we feel full – and we feel energised from each other, the earth and the sky – so we move towards healthy breatharianism. This shift occurs naturally and generationally, as food is the emotional crutch holding society together, and the hardest addiction to give up. We are happy, we stop emotionally eating, and eat what is right for us in healthy amounts. While this happens we no longer need to cater for the modern day obesity crisis, less farm land is required, which can then be bought by central funds and allocated towards self sustaining communities and re-wilding the planet.

Believe it to achieve it

Happiness, good health and having our basic needs met then slows down the world’s population boom. We have children out of love and because we are in a good position to start a family, rather than by accident or a subconscious need for more love in our lives. People are encouraged to heal and integrate their inner child, rather than subconsciously create a mirror mini-me to see their trauma and pass their karma on to. Negative karma is paid off, globally. The amount of people on earth shifts back to what she can support, and the world’s ecosystem and weather stabilise.

Our schooling and health systems are radically reformed, so people are taught how to holistically manage their physical, spiritual, energetic, mental and emotional health from day one. Disease is eradicated, due to people feeling at ease with themselves and their lives. Health complaints are treated with energy, light and sound, with us having a full understanding of emotional frequencies and the associated energy/image/audio required to reset any issues before they become serious physical complaints.

Genetically, we activate our dormant DNA back to our original template before humans began suppressing ourselves, and become energetically powerful again, feeling naturally energised with prana/chi and needing less calories for our bodies. This happens when emotionally we demonstrate and prove to spirit/God that we use this energy and power responsibly, and towards creating and maintaining the golden age energy. It happens as a byproduct of healing and shadow work, rather than being something to achieve. The people who heal and demonstrate they aren’t power hungry become powerful, and abusers of power lose out and have to make good on their negative karma. Everyone gets their justice. Over time, hierarchical systems of control flatten out where feasible, and balance is restored so everyone feels free and uncontrolled by others. Bosses become guides, rather than an authority.

Slowly, the world shifts, and where things are unhealthily unbalanced, the polarities are switched around, until a middle ground is found. There’s no destructive armageddon, world reset, patriarchy vs matriarchy, capitalism vs communism, 1 vs 99%, elites vs poor, black vs white, east vs west, dark vs light, vaccinated vs natural immunity. This is not about battling and defeating any perceived enemy. This is about achieving world peace, love, unity and respect. Duality is succeeded by non-duality – One Love – and when it’s time to party, we can party on and be excellent to each other! Or ignore parties all together as everyone has free will and self autonomy to do what they want as long as no-one is purposely harmed. The only energy to be eradicated is that of “evil” – and karma takes care of that naturally.

Peace and love and all that good stuff

Given we are all intrinsically connected with the planet’s energies, this starts with Africa, physically. It’s the heart of the earth, where humanity as we know it began, the centre of the landmass of our world before the earth shifted and broke up into separation during the world’s first Armageddon reset, which regularly come around when civilisations become too out of balance. It’s drought represents a drought of feminine and loving emotions across the planet. As a collective, we are emotionally ‘dry’ – and ‘plastic’ – fake. If we want to make a big positive difference to all of the world emotions, we begin with Africa’s water crisis, and heal the source/root of the problem. Then we clean up the rivers, lakes and seas.

Goddess Oshun is the deity for the job

We unclog and purify Gaia’s water flow, and the same happens with our collective emotions – as above so below, as within so without. We can achieve both either physically, or emotionally, whichever way of transmuting we prefer, as both are required. Once this happens, the 3D world shifts into its golden age automatically. It is the start of the snowball effect required to get the ball rolling for all of the world’s emotions to feel gently purified, and heal. It’s all about the water. Stay hydrated!

So yep, that’s my idea of the golden age in a nutshell. There’s plenty more detail I could add but this feels good for now. This is what I’m manifesting with this website and through music playlists. I feel it happening, for me and my little bubble of consciousness and some current connections at least. What the rest of the world does is up to them – it’s all good. Love wins in the end, because everyone wants love – it’s what brings us all together.

We can’t bypass the problems in the world – but If we always talk about doom, we bring about more doom. If we talk about love, we bring about more love

How does this fit in with your vision of the future? If you want to see it happen – write it down and talk about it! I’d love to hear everyone else’s vision and where there is any opportunity to co-create a harmonious future on earth together πŸ™‚

Whatever your thing is, you can do the thing! πŸ™Œ

Marriage baggage

When I was a teenage lad I had a crazy dream
that ghosts were real and so was God despite them not being seen
Catholicism was my thing to be raised into early
marriage the goal, and lots of kids, to enter those gates, pearly

Religion threw me off of God, that priest and all his ways
“condoms are bad, you live in sin, you’ll burn with all the gays”
“how can you say that” I asked keenly – “you’re wearing a dress?”
“you stand there judging us in sin, you tell us we’re a mess”

He could only reply repeating “God’s mysterious ways”
my questions for him just went on, for days and days and days
“what about the hate you preach, that non-Catholics burn?
you can’t stand there telling us all this, my trust you’ll never earn”

So I moved on towards my ‘truth’, in hypnotherapy
all’s in the mind I read, that’s true, this is my victory!
shunning religion, faith and trust, in anger and in pain
my crohn’s disease filled me right up, with hate, disgust and shame

I blamed my God for all these feels, my life went down the pan
I took control of my own life, and into work I ran!
but there was hurt inside my heart, my intestines aflame
internalising all my pain, my life became a game

Levels, logic, maths and stats, psychology and need
this filled the gaping hole in me, which I’d replaced with greed
I worked too hard, I drank too hard, weekends an endless party
I told myself it all was fun, gregarious and hearty

It was a release from my pain, from lack of faith and hope
but that life only goes so far till you turn to a dope
your friends are all in the same boat, escaping their denial
you think you will find happiness, if you walk down the aisle

Find someone who will accept you, and all your shit, but how?
you’re lucky to find anyone – self-esteem? Not now
you find that person, OMG, everything will be fine
but all that time (a longer rhyme), you’ve just been fed a line

You’re easily manipulated, needy for that love
it attracts users to you, they fit just like a glove
a broken combo for their needs, you’re perfect for their goals
to love bomb, gain your trust and love, before they switch their roles

To ‘needing support’, playing to your hero fantasy
then 10 long years have passed you by, in abject misery
and when it ends you’re hit with honey traps and witch’s spell
she needs your money, not your love, she planned it very well

Divorce with reason, so that she could take my life long pension
but tarot’s given me an edge, and I can feel the tension
narcissists believe in nowt but their own satisfaction
she’s literally killing you, it’s time to take some action!

Pretend it’s you, pretend you’re weak, you just need to get out
if you confront her on her ways, you will end up with nowt
let her believe that you know nowt, you will not be a threat
offer her support and cash, her needs remain well met

Then sit and wait and bide your time, while she repeats her patterns
and suckers up some poor ‘nice’ bloke, and watch the pattern happen
she’s happy first, delighted, with a chuffed fake smile selfie
but I can see the hate behind her eyes glaring at me

She knows she’s lost, she doesn’t know how much you know at all
she knows you know her secret past, and access to her fall
do mutual friends like you or her, with honesty at stake?
I’ll keep that to myself I think, some silence you can take

But should I speak up, should I talk and get a little even?
release when you’ve been wronged, it feels so good to help the greivin’
I know that I can vent some feels, those feels need to be vented
should I help out her poor new bloke – black widow’s plan prevented?

I realise this won’t do me or them any long term good
I keep betrayal to myself, I feel that’s what I should
then spirit pokes me out of slumber, gives me the green light
“It’s time” it says, “to release all your secret marriage plight!”

“I’ve been with you this whole long time, God doesn’t leave your side
You just called me ‘the universe’, when you were trying to hide
I know it’s hard and it’s not just, but I have got your back
I’m gonna make up for the life, that until now you lack
If you’d have done this before now, you would have been too angry
Your anger would have turned to hate, and lashing out quite blindly”

So i’ll just write this up into a poem she won’t see
or will she? I dunno, it doesn’t matter now to me
I get my release, if she sees, she’ll know I know what’s up
I wont fuss much, I don’t need to, I’ve got a full love cup

Just one thing lingers, I don’t need revenge or to get even
I just wanted to let her know, that love that she was bleedin’
has bled away and I feel nothing, completely sod all
I’m over you in every way, and life’s a real ball!

My last note on this is to say I know that you’re a stalker
I feel your energy lingering, I wish you’d take a walk-a
I’ve cut the cords, your energy, and memories from my life
not out of hurt, just ’cause I should

So, all the best, ex-wife πŸ–€

The end

…and a new beginning πŸ’—

Soul family: mates, catalysts & flames

Some would say that life is love, the binding force that unites us through a universal consciousness. Some would say God is love – the universe is love, and love makes the world go around. By opening with this I guess I agree, but there’s much to how it both brings us together and pushes us apart in order to grow.

Soul Group

As far as I can best interpret it, we all come from a big blob of souls. Others refer to it as a soul group. These souls are in spirit form, imagine it like taking an ice cream scooper to a big lump of frogspawn – separating that lump of spawn from its original ‘collective’, and dumping it on planet Earth. The scooped out souls remain together until they each individually develop into carbon based life forms – like a tadpole – then break out of the collective to find their way individually through life. As humans it’s a little different – but harder to describe. Our souls and egos are intrinsically linked, and we find new bodies – animals and humans to inhabit, and experience our experiences on Earth. Once we have a body, our souls are both separated physically, and connected at a soul level. We may or may not be aware of that, but we feel it.

Oversouls / Monads

Each online article you may read about this might attribute different numbers of souls in our soul group and oversouls, I’ve seen a variety of theories. One common theme is attributed to our oversoul, or monad. Some say these are different levels of souls, that the monad creates the oversoul and the oversoul creates individual souls. Some say it’s the same thing. I say it’s just a label and not to worry about it much, it doesn’t really matter. Whatever it’s called, like multiplying cells it apparently ‘births’ 12 souls from it. I’ve not personally been given this information from spirit (I prefer to stay away from maths and just get the general overview!) but it seems a common and plausible theory. These monads/oversouls can spawn another 12 souls, so you have 144 (12×12) souls in a close knit soul group. These people feel like brothers and sisters, and commonly find each other across lives, continents dimensions, space and time.

I personally believe everyone has a different number of close soul family members depending on how long they have been on Earth and reincarnated, so am staying away from numbers… apart from the infamous ‘twin flame’ partner which is meant to be one soul, split into feminine and masculine halves, destined to find each other in our last lives on Earth and become whole. I’ll get to that…

Image result for oversoul diagram
Image from http://divine-cosmos.net/multidimensional-self.htm

We may not remember our ‘soul spawn’ family as people living a life in this incarnation in the 21st century, but our souls know and feel them intimately, and draw us back together repeatedly across multiple lifetimes. We bump into each other because, like a genetic family, we share similar viewpoints, backgrounds, and missions here on earth. We like the same stuff, want the same thing, and go about life similarly. Our soul family are similar to us in terms of energy, and we immediately feel comfortable with them and have an unspoken connection. We mirror each other’s lives and perspectives, and bond quickly, easily and naturally. We become what we label ‘soul mates’. As we learn our lessons from each soul mate, we find closer members of our soul spawn – people more and more like us, mirroring us a little closer each time… until we find ‘the one’.

Soul Mates

Soul mates are by no means one person in our life. We very rarely meet one soul mate and live happily ever after, although we like to try. We like to think of them romantically as the one, but they are one of many souls in our soul family’s soulspawn blob (or oversoul/monad), and are the person that’s right for us, right now, at this moment in time – energetically matched with a similar number of positive and negative behavioural attributes, and karmic lessons to learn from and transmute. They can be our spouse, lover, teacher, mother, father, friend, workmate, pet, a celebrity, or person on the internet or walking past in the street. They all have something energetically that draws us to them, something in them energy wise that we lack our self, which is why soulmate relationships often feel like we complete each other. They have what we need, want, miss – they are the yin to our yang. They’re just like us, with a few exceptions – which we perceive as good and bad.

Image result for twin flame meme
Soul mates eventually burn out

What’s happening is that yes, for now, they complete us if we rely on them to provide all the attributes we lack in the relationship, and we’re grateful and appreciative for that. We love them and need them, for that. A great and mature soul mate relationship will appreciate that completing each other isn’t the goal – we meet to learn from each other, and to provide assistance in us developing the same attributes that they possess. We are here to level each other out, on the path to finding our inner balance.

The problems in soul mate relationships start when our viewpoints shift into ‘they are wrong for doing something too much / not enough’. If we criticise, or feel defensive if the other criticises or manipulates us. When two soulmates stop feeling like we need each other, we often start to attempt to blame, change or fix the other, in line with how they perceive they should be – more like us. The ego takes over from the conscious energy, and causes hurt. This is when we start getting annoyed at each other and the once positive attraction turns toxic, creating a repelling energy instead. We cannot change anyone else – just ourselves, the balancing has to be the partner’s choice. Few people genuinely change for good if they are feeling pressured to do so. It creates resentment, which builds up over time and forces people apart.

As we grow, we discover things about each other that don’t feel complementary at all. We need multiple different energy and experiences, and that feeling of completeness gradually falls away over time. At this point, the soul contract is likely over and it’s time to move on, be single again, and learn from our lessons. There will be more soul mates when we’re feeling in a good place – more suitable ones – it’s all part of the process.

Related image
Check yourself before you wreck yourself

If we’ve engaged in a conscious, learning, mutually respectful relationship this might happen quite naturally, positively, and without hurt and arguments, as we have both gained what we need from each other and will feel grateful for that. Relationships ‘run out of steam’. We stay friends and continue to help each other through life, but not romantically or sexually – we no longer feel the need to exchange this amount of energy. However, this is a sadly rare occurrence and usually we move on in hurt, anger and blame. Alternatively, we stay together as long as possible and suck up those feelings, due to financial, legal, emotional or practical reasons. Modern day life makes it tough to be single if you want a family and a home, and many of us in a relationship don’t like the idea of being single and alone, until we get used to it again and remember the benefits of being a lone wolf.

It may be compelling energy wise if our soulmate is attractive, but it’s not always necessarily best to get it on romantically with our soul mate. We’ve been brought together to learn something from each other, see something good in each other, and develop that ability or energy within our selves. They are also there to show us something bad in ourselves – our shadow side behaviours, and in anger we often point out these features to our partners which otherwise they may not have been able to see in themselves. Soul mates are here to teach us lessons, both positive and negative, and the more energy we exchange, the more they trigger soul lessons we need to experience. Positive soul lessons are wonderful. Negative soul lessons are horrific.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is screenshot_20200109-134438__01.jpg
The key to breaking free of codependency

Energy exchange is both physical and mental – thinking about someone exchanges energy with them – talking exchanges more, hugging and kissing more, again and having sex with them exchanges the most. The more we exchange energy, the more intense our lessons will be, which s why it really is important to go slowly. Each of our soul mates have a little or a lot of lessons and energy for us to experience and integrate within ourselves – the more lessons they have for us, the more attractive we find them. They are energetically, hugely, literally attractive like a magnet, and we don’t usually know what those lessons are until we connect. This is the feeling of feeling drawn to someone for reasons we can’t logically explain, having a desperate urge to be with them.

Some soul mate relationships, even though they are clearly toxic from day one, remain unavoidably compelling until the lesson is learnt. Sometimes the lesson is merely to get out of relationships that should have ended, but we are codependent on others – or indoctrinated into the religious viewpoint that marriage is the goal for each relationship, and forever – or we have failed and we are unworthy of a long term relationship. Sometimes it takes awful experiences to drum it home, until we finally learn boundaries and to prioritise our own needs. Pain is a great teacher.

We don’t have to have a relationship – we can admire a soul mate from afar, and want to be more like them – this way we develop the attributes we need in ourselves with minimal conflict – but also, minimal enjoyment! It’s a gamble each time, as to whether we think that partner would cause us more harm than good, and vice versa. Is it worth it? Should we go for it, make the most out of life and love? Or should we protect our energy? There’s no right or wrong answer, just personal preferences and timing to consider.

Attraction doesn’t necessarily mean romantic or sexual. We can be very attracted to someone we don’t fancy at all – these people end up becoming our friends. When two soulmates’ souls are attracted to each other for necessary soul growth reasons, but only one of them finds the other physically attractive, one of them gets ‘friend zoned’. Alternatively we might find our soul mate gorgeous, but emotionally not our cup of tea as they display too many shadow side behaviours we’re not ready to deal with, and we don’t want to have a relationship with them.

My favourite soul mate is my dog. She mirrors me energetically, loves me unconditionally and doesn’t give me horrible lessons (although I still have to deal with her shit!). Pets can become perfect partners – but again – can only offer minimal enjoyment compared to a sexy human!

There are many types of soul mates which we’ve given labels to. I’m going to list a few more, but personally I think the labels are problematic and should be avoided if possible – treat people energetically rather than assigning labels, as they mean we’re more likely to have unrealistic expectations of them. I see everyone we’re attracted to as a soul mate, part of a soul family, and some are here to give us different, and more intense experiences than others.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is karmagirlfriend.gif
It always starts so well… πŸ˜‰

Soul Catalysts

Soul catalysts are usually short intense relationships, designed with the karmic purpose of being so influential that they knock us out of our comfort zone and onto a self healing path. We can have more than one in our lives, and often karmically we feel we have met them before. We have. It’s our repeating roles in life, and the intense experiences and karma we create each life time make it extremely hard to overcome in a long term relationship in just the one life – there are just too many lessons to learn all at once. It’s impossible to stay together in a relationship with a soul catalyst, they are there to make us want to be together, but so difficult we break apart and vow to do better next time, to ‘fix’ ourselves, or reach for spirituality as the answer. Maybe out of regret for how we have treated them, or as assistance we desperately need for how they have treated us, or both. They may be relatively short lived experiences, but we remember these connections for the rest of our lives as turning points, where we began to strive to improve ourselves – to treat ourselves, and others better, often guided by spirit.

They are really important people. If we’re lucky we can remain friends and continue to advise and support each other along our spiritual paths – but it takes a lot of conscious effort and forgiveness to do so.

Partners in Crime

Image result for partner in crime
Image result for partner in crime

If you try online dating, you’ll see many a person looking for their partner in crime, without having a clue what they are actually referring to. Our partners in crime have karmically been just that – people we have explored our shadow side behaviours with in past lives. Maybe we were criminals, drug takers, prostitutes, warlords, anything which is now deemed naughty or unacceptable in modern day society. Our souls yearn for those fun, naughty experiences once again so we can see our shadow sides within us, and learn to resolve how we feel about these activities. To transmute our shadow feelings into light – by repeating them and learning not to do it again in this life. We know our partner in crime will have our backs, having had them before. We look out for each other. Its a tight knit bond, although not necessarily the most wholesome one. We might not, for example, reenact being warlords if previously we have gone into battle together, but might both gang up emotionally on other people – feeling it’s us against the world. We will replay in some minor, (hopefully) culturally acceptable aspect the behaviours we experienced with each other before.

We might have one, or many partners in crime, depending on what we got up to in our past lives. Whatever happens with these soul family members, you know you’re going to have fun! Bear in mind however, they may not be the best person for us in the long term, unless we are conscious of this dynamic from the beginning and both choose to adopt a lighter path in this life time.

False Flames

Are they twin flames or false flames? We just don’t know, but we live in hope until our energy and soul have been given such a beating we don’t want to know either way. False flames draw us in and burn us to a crisp. They are the best, and then they are the worst experience.

It’s not necessarily them, or their personality that’s the problem – I hope not, I’ve encountered false flames, so therefore I must be one as well. The attraction between us however, is so intense that it’s impossible to get them out of our heads and hearts until we have been literally dragged over the coals of love and despair.

A false flame is someone we think may be a twin flame – our perfect partner, the one. With so much in common and so little problems to perceive at first, they come across as pretty perfect. Our ideal partner, everything we’ve ever wanted. We fall head over heels with them fast and hard. There’s no holding back, the attraction is immense, the sex amazing, maybe the best we’ve ever had. In perfect harmony, supportive, loving, fun, on a level of closeness never witnessed before. We finish each others sentences, feel each other’s thoughts, everything looks and feels like the fabled twin flame experience – for a while.

Image result for divine partnership meme
Quick, switch their toothpaste!

Then one day, everything starts falling apart, just as fast and hard as how we fell for each other. We enter the push and pull stage. Running and chasing. One finds it overwhelming and bolts for the door – the other is left yearning desperately wondering what’s wrong, unable to let go or move on, just trying to fix the situation. That’s the problem – and the lesson.

False flames are a preparatory relationship for a twin flame – they break us of every bad habit and desire to be in a relationship, by being so impossible to get over that no-one else can do, but being impossible to get together – someone is always running away. It’s just too intense. We end up thinking that we never want to experience this heartbreak again, and we learn to let go of our codependency, and our need for anyone else. We find ourselves, our self love, our self care, because we have to. Personally, I was so ruined I turned to poetry for the first time. They are pure pleasure, and then pure pain. If we get back together, it’s the same thing over and over again. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. They burn us out, and we do the same to them.

Image result for soul mate meme
The soul contract is over!

False flames destroy our 3D way of thinking and our traditional expectations of relationships. We rebuild ourselves from heartbreak a brand new person, never wanting to fall so hard or carelessly again. We grow up, develop boundaries, walls, and get on with our own lives – perhaps healthily, or unhealthily.

Then, we might meet another false flame, if we’ve not gotten over them or fully learnt our lessons. If we’re unlucky, we may continue to meet these types of relationships, so close to perfection, but there’s something wrong – we want it too much. We’re pushing for a relationship, needing to have a partner, searching for our true twin flame. Until we are completely self sufficient and have no desire for a relationship, false flames are always a potential match waiting to be struck. Be careful of that fire!

Divine Feminine / Masculine Partner

Tempered and wiser from our past partnerships, the divine partnership is an entirely different kettle of fish. Here we have two people who have done a lot of self work on themselves, understanding their flaws and strengths, working through our shadow behaviours, and ready to have a conscious relationship without the problems of traditional 3D partnerships. If anything such as codependency crops up, it’s addressed. If a partner oversteps any boundaries, it’s addressed. A divine partner should be well in touch with both their own masculinity and femininity, whichever gender they fall under. Each has done the work to not need a anyone by realising we’re our own twin flame, that we ourselves are the partner we’ve always been looking for, by embracing the energy of the opposite gender within ourselves. We’re more balanced, happier on our own, and a partner is complementary, rather than completing. There’s nothing to complete, as we’re grand all by ourselves.

Image result for you're so down to earth and i'm up in the stars

The feminine is strong, empowered, no longer fearing or controlling the masculine with any games or manipulation. The masculine is soft, gentle, no longer needing to use force or domination to control the feminine. We meet as equals. Control has gone, because there’s no need to try and turn the partner into something to appease our own ego. Our ego is in check. Our anger issues, guilt, shame, fear – shadow sides to our personalities, resolved or minimised, or being consciously worked through with each other’s support and understanding.

Of course, it’s by no means perfect. We’re still probably healing and undoing the years of 3D beliefs and relationship behaviours we were indoctrinated into beforehand. Often karmic issues may come up and rock the boat. We might begin to remember past lives – developed enough psychically and feeling safe enough to express and work through such sensitive issues with the other to support us. We will be stretched and tested, massively, to ensure we really are balanced and unconditionally loving. If so, the partnership can evolve and both can complete their healing journey together, hand in hand. If not, it becomes overwhelming and we need to break up. It might end up perfect, or might end up nearly perfect. Either way, it won’t ruin us as much as a false flame experience, because we are no longer easily broken or fooled. A divine partnership can run for the rest of our lifetimes quite happily, because there is no need to stay together – no pressure – no problem to be alone again if necessary – and that removes the need for all of the reasons people traditionally break up. They appear in divine timing, just when we need them – ironically when we feel we no longer need a partner. It feels like a cosmic reward for all of the hard self healing work we’ve done.

Twin Flames

There is so much about twin flames on the internet I hardly feel the need to write much about them. The one. Our other half. Our Heaven on Earth. The masculine/feminine split soul of ourselves from our original incarnation. The person who will never say a bad word to you, will always support you lovingly unconditionally, psychically in tune with each other, communicating telepathically, with no secrets. You in another gender’s body (traditionally – the body’s gender doesn’t matter any more, you’re both masculine and feminine). The perfect relationship.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 39976803_269495633671005_5774053633586888704_n.jpg
Twin flame union takes a lot of work

Alas, spirit tells me, in contradiction to most of the internet, that there is no such person. It’s a lie. A lure. A trick to get us to work on ourselves so hard that we reach the stage where we no longer feel the need, or want a relationship. A cosmic joke to get us to the stage where we are happy to remain single forever, because the search for our twin flame and the relationships along the way break us out of this mindset.

And yet, it is a thing, because any soul mate can become the ideal relationship. Twin flame energy is a state of mind. A contractual link between two soul mates who grow together. They could be soul mates, false flames, divine partners – there is no the one for us. The dynamic doesn’t fit into the soul spawn analogy. Our souls haven’t been split into two, for us to find each other across space and time. It’s a romantic story that keeps us trapped into a push/pull dynamic with soul family until we are ready for each other – the objective every time to learn to let go of relationships that aren’t working. Every time – to find our twin flame, we have to let go of wanting them unless everything is already working out perfectly. Impossible, many will say – and I certainly relate to that, for quite some time. Upon actually letting go of the person I thought was my twin flame – the first soul mate I felt telepathically linked to, I was told afterwards my twin flame could be any soul mate.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is tumblr_p9wyleMm5e1wsvihuo1_540.jpg

There is a lot of money to be made by promising that we can do X and Y to attract our running twin flame. People run businesses off of the basis. It taps into people’s need to find and be with these partners, which goes against the entire point of it – to let go. To stop needing a partner. To find love and balance within ourselves. Time and time again I have questioned this, absolutely certain and projecting the twin flame energy onto a soul mate who I was certain was my twin, because of the telepathy and intense push/pull energy between us, and the near perfect astrological setup which would make them theoretically ideal. And they could in fact become that perfect partnership – but many a time people will report their twin is a complete horror show, and they want nothing to do with them. Many a time people will begin running, and go backwards in their healing, falling back on old habits that mean they descend back into a hell mindset. This is when we need to let go. Then we meet someone else! If it’s not working out, just, let, go. I know, easier said than done, but this is all a part of the healing journey, to break us of our need for anyone but ourselves. Whoever we perceive our twin to be, they are likely the most compelling reason to heal in our awakening process. If we both heal, then the twin flame story and union can happen. If not, one of them switches off, and the other lives in emotional agony – unless they can truly let go. Pain is a very compelling teacher…

Soul mates summary

The thing with soulmates in our family oversoul is that whatever label we give them, if we can love them unconditionally, in the now, with no expectations of each other, and both treat each other with kindness and support, working through our shadow behaviours together – whilst avoiding completing each other and codependency – they can become our healthy, mutually healing ideal life partner for the remainder of our lives. As we heal together we develop the psychic bonds between each other and slowly turn into each other. We balance each other out, take on each other’s behaviours and preferences, through love. Love brings us together and binds us together.

Image result for twin flames

It’s more likely though that until we are very nearly, or completely healed from our dark night of the soul and past life karma, that we will be unable to treat our partner like this. Jealousy, anger, fear, addictions, depression, all these kinds of shadow behaviours that are in us all, block us from this twin flame state of mind. Once we work through these issues, our twin flame arrives on the scene, or someone we know suddenly seems perfect for us. They are perfect to us at this stage, because they are soul family, have loads in common, and have very few personality problems – the same as us, because we’ve both healed.

But if they are married, die, in a different country we can’t move to, unavailable for any reason – we can let go and move on. Another perfect partner will pop up, if we believe that will be the case. We are never trapped into a reality where we are doomed to have a less than perfect relationship if we continue to let go of attachment, and heal ourselves. Just keep doing this, and it will all turn out brilliantly.

So i’m told, by spirit. Very firmly. Repeatedly. However – big caveat – I’m also told by spirit that I am given the information I need to know, right now. I’ll never know this for certain until I am ‘healed’ – whatever that means, because it’s all a process. I’m not there yet, I’ve more healing to do. If I was healed, I doubt I would be writing this. Our relationships hurts cause us to be creative, to express our angst, needs and learnings, to help heal ourselves through healing others. It’s because of my ‘twin flame’ that I am writing this. One day, I truly believe, it will all come good, with whoever that is meant to be with.

Until then, I’ll continue to attempt to live in the now, with no yearning, happy on my own, just focusing on myself and my own healing, and experiencing relationships with partners if and when it feels right to do so, whatever label they feel like. Live in the now, and take each moment and potential partner as they come. Accept myself and them as they are and hope they do the same with me.

After all of this lengthy write up – that’s all there is to it, really! Live in the now, man – the hippies were right.

Good luck to us all, and remember, it’s all happening in perfectly divine timing ❀

Image result for twin flames

The meaning of life

What is life? What’s it all about? What a question. There are a few differing definitions, to say the least. Life is love! Feeling gives life meaning. Life is the universe expressing itself. And of course, if you’re a geek like me then the meaning of life is 42. You’re going to get a different answer depending who you ask.

Life is pain and pleasure

Pinhead: demon to some, angel to others

If you ask me, and you kind of are right now, life is paaaain. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? Well yes, this is my dramatic opening statement, but bear with me, it gets better. On the most part life is about experiencing experiences, and through pain we grow, learn, and have better experiences. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – pain is the flip side to pleasure, and through first experiencing pain we later experience more pleasure than we were capable of experiencing before. Otherwise, a pleasurable experience is just normal, and we take it for granted, so it loses its meaning. The more pain we experience, the more pleasure we can appreciate. Not always though. Only if we choose to, as happiness is a choice.

Life is Heaven and Hell

Pain is heavy maaan, literally, it’s a denser lower vibrational energy than pleasure, and it literally sucks us down. Physical, mental, or emotional, pain sucks us down into our own personal hell, and life on Earth is then lived out as if we were in Hell – which essentially we are. Most people live in ‘Hell’, as this world is setup for humans to do so, it keeps people under control, a cruel but clever management technique. People in hell work hard to try to find their way out of it, and in this society we think that money brings us pleasure. Sometimes it can, and sometimes it traps us in a hellish mindset where money becomes more important than love, and we forget what real pleasure is actually about. We numb ourselves to life through work, over thinking, TV, sex, food, drink or drugs, addictions of all sorts, anything to make us feel a little better, in the moment.

Humans are kept working hard to buy things they don’t really need, so they can feel temporarily happy. True happiness awaits us at retirement when we are often too old to fully enjoy life, especially if working has damaged our mind, body and soul. Humans are kept working hard to increase their country’s GDP, too tired to become a problem, and too numb to remember what life should really be about.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘retail therapy’

Who do you know is truly happy rather than content, or struggling on through life? What’s the ratio to unhappy people you know? Usually we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have a good enough partner, we don’t have enough friends, we don’t have the perfect face or body, we don’t have the perfect home or family, we don’t have enough stuff, etc. Capitalism and marketing provides us a drip feed feeling of emotional lack and pain, which keeps us in an emotional state of ‘Hell’.

Life is like Star Wars

Which side are you on?

Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering – emotional, physical and spiritual. Just as religious texts teach it, so does spirituality, and so does Star Wars. The force is energy, the light side is ‘good’, the dark side is ‘evil’, Star Wars is a modern day storytelling of ‘the father, son and holy spirit’ for audiences who have lost their connection to spirit, but feel okay to call it an imaginary force because that’s not religious. It’s all the same thing. Watch it again – see how morals become corrupted, and an empire and relationships once in ‘Heaven’ descends to ‘Hell’ through pain, anger, revenge, and passed down karma to repay.

Ever notice how the Star Wars films are three cycles of trilogies, all repeating similar themes from a different perspective or with different characters? This is the cycle of life we also live in, the number 3 is very important. What goes around comes around, and you can’t escape from your past. Instead, face your fears, you must – this is the path of the Jedi!

Life is about Karma

So life is kinda like Star Wars, and some appreciate that more than others. Life is also joy, if we choose to work through our own dark side and choose to embody the light side within us – that’s where we find our pleasure. Some of us are lucky enough to be born into an environment with a support system which leads us to live relatively easy, joyful lives. That usually happens because we’ve worked off a lot of karma in our last lives. We are born, reincarnated with karma / sin, into a tricky astrological setup to make peace with, or born into poverty or a country having a hard time, etc.

If not, we just have parents, and every parent gives their child something to work out later on in life, as parents pass on their karma to their kin. Or we have no parents we know of, and additional issues to work out from that. We inherit both our ancestral karma from our family lineage, and our own past life Karma. We’re all karma karma karma karma karma chameleons. It binds us together and dominates our life experiences until we work our way through it. Some people say they have none, that karma doesn’t carry across over reincarnations – well, maybe they don’t, perhaps they’re playing a different game of life to the one i’m familiar with, but this theory fits perfectly for me.

Through this karmic challenge we inherit, we attract appropriate life situations and people to reflect our karma back to us, and if we make good intuitive decisions which feels right for us, we learn to pay back that karma and experience more joy in our lives. Alternatively, we stay suffering. If we do, we’ve likely made others suffer in this, or our past lives, and we need to understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that, so we stop doing it. Life isn’t necessarily fair – on a single life basis. Often the karmic life lessons we get are worse than what we feel we deserve – often this is a lesson to smack us in the face and jolt us out of our dark side behaviour if we’re not listening to the universe’s subtler messages. Over multiple lives though, life is perfectly balanced.

Life is about improving ourselves

Love yourself, love each other

Essentially life is about making ourselves better in some way – the human spirit strives to improve itself – because we all begin our lives as karma-ridden kids unless this is our very first incarnation on earth. We are first incarnated into simple organisms, and learn how to live as them. When we reincarnate, we come back as a slightly more advanced life form if we deserve it, if we mastered the last one’s lessons. After a few simple lives, we turn into creatures with emotions, and then those creatures attack each other usually, out of necessity to survive. The animal kingdom is cruel, and we become so in order to live, it’s dog eat dog out there without civilisation to give us rules to abide to. No matter how saintly we think we are as humans living in the modern age with our etiquette and pleasantries, we have all lived past lives full of stuff like murder, rape, torture, cheating, lying, warfare – everything. We’ve either been on the receiving end of it or dished it out, but we all have bad memories to or repay by experiencing something similar. If not as humans, then as animals at least. Every. Single. Human. We can’t be saints without first have been a sinner.

Once we get to the human stage, we have, in theory, developed the capacity to determine ‘right from wrong’. We have moral compasses, culture to conform to, and the ability to empathise with other’s pain. When we’re at this stage, we’re meant to stop acting like savages and evolve. Some of us do, and some of us keep acting like animals. For the latter, they get to be an animal in their next life, as they’ve shown they’re not ready for being a decent human yet. Humans are animals too. We live a lot of lives, as males, females, and a variety of species. We do it all. It’s just that each time we start again we mentally forget, while we instinctively remember, and repeat our patterns.

Life is about experiencing life

Is this your soul purpose? Someone’s gotta do it, for the sake of the universe!

We’re all God’s children, the religious will say. The universe wants to experience itself, the spiritual will say. Same thing.

Whatever we call it, spirit doesn’t have a body, but it has consciousness it shares with us. Imagine you were a spirit without form – what would you do? You would likely want to enjoy yourself, basically. See what you can do with a body. You’d want to explore, learn, travel, love, fight, feel, make something more of yourself – you would want to live. Our souls feel this way too, because our souls are spirit. We’re unhappy when we’re out of alignment our soul’s purpose. If we do what the universe would rather we didn’t, we don’t have a good time.

Life is about finding our soul’s purpose

We all have a soul’s purpose, or destiny, or something we always felt we wanted to do. Something we were meant for. What would you do if money was no object, if you had the material possessions you wanted, and were single and happy with that? If you wanted for nothing, what would you do? That’s your soul’s purpose. It might be working! That’s fine, lucky you if so. More often than not, it’s not, and not many of us get to do what we feel we were born to do, because we have to earn money to survive. Life on Earth is about trying to find a way back to our soul’s purpose, because that’s what will bring us joy. That’s our Heaven on Earth. To get there we’ve got to work through our pain / karma.

Life is what you make of it

There is another essential aspect to consider; life is what we make of it. Destiny may be fixed, but there’s no fate but what we make. We may have a general inescapable theme to our lives set in our soul contracts / astrology setup, but the way in which we go about it, how, where, and who we do that with are all subject to change, and what we attract along the way. We make our own luck, we’re in charge of our own life, dreams can come true, we are the magic makers, the dreamers of dreams, what we focus on we attract. What do these common phrases mean?

The law of attraction is Β±

We are what we eat, we are what we think, but mostly we are what we feel. What we feel becomes an energy we carry around with us. This energy then attracts both equal, and opposing energies towards it, like a magnet; our ‘magnetic personalities’. Broadly speaking, an empath will attract another empath, and a narcissist. A hateful person attracts other hateful people and a forgiving person. Opposites can both repel and attract each other, because we are energetically instinctively drawn to certain people whose energies match ours, both in a mix of similar, and opposing energies.

Life is love

We attract both our light side and our dark side mirrors. It’s a mixture of attracting what we need for our soul’s purpose, and it’s always a blend of energies that both repel and attract in various different amounts… relationships stay together if they remain more positive than negative over time. Someone needs to provide the positivity – if it’s just one, then that energy is drained over time until both feel negatively about themselves, each other and the relationship, then break up or stick it out for the sake of the kids/marriage. Once we have gained enough positive energy back, we give it another try, having learnt whatever lessons we needed to learn. Periods of time alone in-between relationships helps, if we don’t want to go straight into another similar situation on the rebound. We can’t solve our problems when we bounce from one relationship to the other, we simply project our problems onto our partner instead. We can think and feel our way out of these repeating patterns.

Soul family – deserves its own page

Soul mates, be them family, friends, acquaintances or lovers, are our karmic lessons, we attract each other to show us aspects of our personalities that we don’t want to see; our shadow sides. When we throw shade or blame at our karmic partner, or strongly deny that we aren’t like X or Y, this is our shadow speaking. Your partner will likely think the opposite – it takes one to know one! How we emotionally handle this determines whether we grow from it, stay stuck with it, or make it worse. If we keep attracting the same type of people, we are the problem in a way we still can’t see. We need to learn from them, rather than blame them for everything. We can rarely change anyone. We can change and better ourselves – our own energy – and then our partners either raise their level to meet us, or we split and later attract people with similar, healed energy. We have a slightly better life with them, learn more lessons, and evolve. If we both evolve together, we are much more likely to stay together. Relationships are quite simple when we get down to the nuts and bolts of it. Is our energy either higher, or lower than theirs? Will we bring each other down to Hell, split up, or raise each other up to Heaven?

Life is about learning lessons

In learning our lessons from each other, we can grow from them. This repays our karma. The religious viewpoint of repenting from your sins is pretty over the top in my opinion, it’s simply about making good life choices, that feel in line with our soul’s purpose. Go with your gut – rather than self-flagellation.

We have to hurt to heal

Life is about experiencing things and people, messing up, learning what we did wrong, and doing better. On repeat, over and over again. This is how we become happy, find joy, experience more pleasure. Once we break out of a hell mindset, joy enters our lives. Once it does, if we expect to attract more joy, we do. Vicious cycles are broken, and life becomes a snowball of incremental happiness (mixed in with any difficult lessons necessary for growth along the way). There’s a formula to life, how to fit within and go along with its flow, how life cycles work, what to expect in your life at certain ages and astrological events, etc.

Life can become a lot easier and enjoyable if we pay attention to what’s happening beneath our automatic, instinctive emotional reactions. This allows us to see our dark, shadow side, and work our way out of it. When we learn to love life, then life loves us back 😊

Life is about appreciating life

So in summary, what is the meaning of life? It feels arrogant of me to provide an answer to that, but because I am 42 right now, I’m giving it a go. Life is to experience experiences, both enjoyable and unenjoyable. To feel, rather than to numb ourselves through it. Without the bad, there can be no good. Life is to love; ourselves and each other. To attract people and situations to allow us to see both our own light and shadow side behaviour, so we can understand, accept, and grow from it, in order to attain a more pleasurable life afterwards. Just like a flower or tree or a mythical Jedi, we start off in a dark place and grow towards the light. Life is beautiful, and so are you. Someone out there thinks so, you’re the way you are for a reason, and the energetic mirror to someone else to help them grow too.

So appreciate life, every day if you can, all the difficulties and the pleasures, because if you’re reading this, whatever is going on in your life you have the means to read the internet, likely a roof over your head, food in your belly, and you’re educated enough to read – and learn – and you’re growing. You’re doing OK at life. Give yourself a pat on the back, and say thanks to whatever and whoever you feel gave you this life, and it will get a little better, every single day 😁 Whether you’re an internet stranger or friend or family, thankyou for reading this and therefore energetically being a part of my life, I am very grateful πŸ™

Friday the 13th feminine feels

Today is a great day to explain a patriarchal problem.

The latter Friday 13th films focus on Jason, but the origin is all about his mother. She’s the one with the power, Jason is the mindless puppet, and on Friday 13th Jason supernaturally rises again and again to do his mother’s witchy bidding.

Poor old Jason. No wonder he’s got anger issues

Certain dates, days, and numbers of the week are all attributed to specific spiritual meanings. Google the original spiritual meaning behind Friday the 13th and you’ll find info such as:

“Friday is Venus Day and we all know that Venus is the epitome of feminine energy. The Number 13 also holds an extremely potent feminine energy and is considered to be the number of death and rebirth, creation, fertility and blood. This is because we have 13 Moon cycles every year and the average female also experiences 13 periods per year.

Before patriarchal times, Friday the 13th was considered the day of the Goddess. It was considered a day to worship the Divine Feminine that lives in us all. Friday the 13th was considered a very powerful day to manifest, honor creativity and to celebrate beauty, wisdom and nourishment of the soul.”

Why is it considered evil and unlucky then? Well maybe its an unlucky day for people pushing patriarchal values, because today is a day when women aren’t going to take any of that shit. A female empowerment day means a potential masculine disempowerment day, if they are on the list of any witch’s witchy wrath.

Image result for 13 witches
Today is only unlucky if you’ve pissed off a witch recently

“13 – unlucky for some”. Just like how religion has vilified and suppressed female power, culture has vilified this date, and created a superstition that people using their power on this day are evil. Sometimes that might have been justified. Stories become superstitions, then true; what we believe we create in our reality. Years later the true meaning is lost and we just consider it unlucky, for unexplainable reasons.

Today isn’t evil or unlucky, unless you believe it is and then make your own bad luck. It’s simply a feminine empowerment day, which we can all enjoy if we embrace our inner feminine (some more than others!). Superstitions are born through fear, and it’s time to let that fear go. Enjoy your feminine full moon Friday, though remember with great power comes great responsibility! πŸ’ͺβ™€οΈπŸ™

Channelling challenges

Channelling appears to be both my spiritual strength, and weakness. I began this blog post intending to do some channelling, but instead it seems my higher self wants me to write down and analyse how I feel about that, because I feel a lot about it. I may be channelling now, I’m never entirely sure until I read the post back afterwards, but it sure feels like I am meant to write this post, and it’s flowing effortlessly, unlike when I attempt to write some form of thought out article.

Before I started this website I had an Instagram and Facebook account, where I expressed my horror towards the dark night of the soul, attempted to find my soul tribe, and let off some steam. It began with memes and one liners, and as I grew in confidence that actually it wasn’t just me going through this spiritual awakening process, I began to make my own memes, take off my mask, open up, and write more personally.

One thing I wasn’t sure about discussing was channelling. Some people channel alien transmissions, and that seems to go down relatively harmlessly on the internet, but I tend to pick up the energies of what I interpret as ancient civilization gods and goddesses, and occasionally Source, which some people feel is God with a capital G and that’s very important… all my interactions with these energies comes through with my voice, but feeling and saying things I normally wouldn’t. I’d see the daily online Source transmissions and messages from the universe, and while i resonated with their content, I expressed that energy like.. well, like me. I felt I would cheapen the message if I added in my brand of vocabularily amd ropey grammar, and I wasn’t sure of what I was doing, or if it was real in the early stages. Quoting all of these named deities and passing on their messages to humanity seemed like a recipe for disaster, and I decided against it.

One of the energies I felt safe with was my higher self. I didn’t really know what it was at the time, but it was a voice in the back my my mind that answered me back when I asked myself a question, (usually after an ego response) and unlike my ego, it always made sense. It felt like it knew every thing i’d ever read or heard or felt, and put it to me in an egoless state. I knew it felt right, as usually it gently kicked my arse and told me where I was going wrong, but in a way which would lead to self improvement. It was my higher self, personal to me, so i thought this was the perfect voice to channel…

I began writing down my conversations with higher me, in conversational format. Instead of some wannabe guru type spilling his recently amassed supposed wisdom from the cosmos, I became the butt of my own higher self’s jokes. I thought, at the time, this would be a great way for me to get my message across, without coming across too hoity toity, and usually it was at least partially amusing, because my higher self talks to me like I talk, and I often try to find the comedy in difficult situations… maybe as a defence mechanism from engaging with actual emotion, which isn’t great, but at least it can be fun for others to read, and fun – in theory – gets shared. At first, it was just me trying to express a story. A journalistic format which would keep me humble. My media strategy as I set out to encourage other people to channel their higher selves too – my little bit in helping this ascension of humanity malarkey.

Quite quickly, I realised I’d stopped trying to tell a story and was simply in a trance state, channelling away. The point I began to make was quickly highjacked by my higher self and I recieved some kind of humiliating lesson instead. My higher mind was in charge of the whole thing, including my responses. ‘Me’ became a character of sorts, playing the dumb role of a man having no idea what was going on during his spiritual awakening, even though often it was a reminder of something I’d learnt but forgotten from a while back, and was now integrating. It was totally spot on and I was regularly shocked and humbled. Sometimes it made me look way smarter or way dafter than reality. In ‘reality’ I am both ‘Me’ and my higher self, but online the role of Me because a character of sorts, a film version of me playing me, similar but different. Perfect, I thought, I was channelling and learning and getting messages from spirit across to others without being a know it all. I thought.

Eventually I realised I was also tapping into my higher self’s soul family and monad group. There was nothing individual at all about what I was channelling. That’s when the weirdness began. I had inadvertantly tapped into the energy of the 5D collective consciousness. People started saying that my conversations with my higher self were the same conversations they were having. I was describing their day. People thought I was speaking directly to them. In their heads – how else could I know exactly what they were thinking? Lots took offense, and thought I was passively aggressively trying to teach them a lesson, that I myself was also learning that day. Some thought Higher me was made up entirely. A number of people projected onto me that I was their twin flame, or some other form of soul family destiny. People manifested me, told me I was theirs, how they knew where I lived and would track me down, and put spells on me. One posted photos of a voodoo doll with all kinds of foreign incantations clearly aimed at me, and I really felt that. This all suddenly happened – one day I was anonymous, the next I had half a dozen offers of love in the same week. It was overwhelming and one sided, some I ignored, some I spoke to and tried to put them off.

Until the day where I received multiple offers of overwhelming love bombing, I had been oblivious, focussing on my own journey and interactions with spirit. Having being a sick chap most of my life, attention from the opposite sex was rare, and I wasn’t expecting it or in a good place to do anything about it, I was in the spiritual isolation phase, dark night of the soul. However the more I avoided or, stopped following any accounts that triggered me, the more intense the interactions became.

I feel that a man going online and breaking down his most private and spiritual emotions publicly, received a similar reaction as if a girl had walked onto a club dancefloor and started taking her clothes off. I just wanted to understand and express myself freely, but people got too full on, and I eventually had to take a break from social media. My energy body felt like it was being pulled in a dozen different directions, my thoughts were all over the place, and my heart constantly felt stabbed with a dozen pins. Be in the heart they say – I couldn’t. It hurt, really badly, and still does a little. It’s physically painful for me to live in the heart. I’m paying back a lot of past life karma right now, where clearly I was at the very least, a very naughty witch. The mirrors I was attracting showed me how intense my own repressed energy was, and how I was also caught up in the twin flame destiny malarkey, thinking it was the first person I’d connected with at a spiritual level. Women acting towards me reflected how full on I must have been, emotionally if not physically, as a masculine youth before I decided to sorry myself out. It was all a very horrible and humiliating lesson.

A lot of energy work later, some major toxin clearing and keeping away from Instagram and Facebook, I feel clearer, lighter, and back to myself. My thoughts feel my own again. My heart aches a little, but not a lot. I can breathe deeply again and have lost the overwhelming sense of anxiety i’d been carrying all year. Before I delve back into social media and ‘real’ groups of people, if I do, I need to heal my heart space, and improve my energy management and psychic protection skills. Next time, i’ll be going in with bigger boundaries.

However, in my social break, I’m not channelling any more. I’m missing out on the lessons my higher self has for me. If I try to channel privately, it works to an extent, but my higher self is very clear that it wants me to do this online as well, because it’s the most effective way of persuading others to get in contact with their own higher selves. So here I am, starting again on a website rather than social media, delighting in the fact that this page may have less than a dozen people ever read it. How things have changed, the social media strategist inside of me doesn’t know what to make of this whatsoever! But for me, this feels right. I need to write, and release what’s inside of me, but I don’t want the overwhelmingly weird attention it gets.

Me: higher me, is it time for a test?

Β± Higher me: It certainly is. How does this feel for you?

Β± Me: different. Not as smooth. The little Β± symbol i use to signify switching between you and me seems redundant. The WordPress phone app keyboard is slower than Instagram, I keep making typos if I go at normal speed. Which means I am actually getting more info from you, it feels more meditative, it’s frustrating but probably good for me, i’m typing more mindfully. The formatting is different. I love the lack of character limit though. Love it!

Higher me: Well, it’s time! It was good for you to learn getting your point across succinctly, but now it’s restricting you. You’ve got the freedom to write whatever you want now, and while almost noone will read this, emotionally you are now writing for your self, and the right reasons, not the attention from people who made you feel good about yourself every day. This is a lot better for your ego. Otherwise you may have ended up turning into a bit of a knobhead

Me: thanks higher me, I see we’re straight back into public character assassination. But alright. I see your point. Is there anything in particular you would like to say right now, or shall we pick this up tomorrow on a post that isn’t already pretty long? Yay no character limits or people reading my stuff and getting weird! Freedoooom!

Higher me: Ha, enjoy it while it lasts. Once people recognise your higher me, i.e. me is speaking to you with info that’s relevant for your soul group, i.e. them, that will change. Whichever medium you use. It’s kind of the point. Anyone can write an article, but it has limited effect and reach. Channelling me will literally energetically attract your soul group here. But you have a while to channel freely without having to worry about that. Just a while πŸ˜‰

Me: I would really prefer to keep my personal stuff and the usual ego bashing to a minimum on this website please. I’m hoping to, you know, be respected and earn a basic living from this one day. Any chance we could make this more about me asking useful questions about life, rather than you constantly embarrassing me in the name of the universe exploring itself, with me as it’s comedy lackey, having my ego whittled away as some form of universal entertainment?

Higher me: That’s down to you, buddy. If you have a lesson to learn and you’re listening, I’m gonna teach it to you. How I do that is up to you, because I’ll teach it to you in the same way as you feel about yourself. If you’re giving yourself a hard time, so will I. If you’re making light of a difficult situation, so will I. You know how this goes. I’m you, your mirror, and also a lot of other things too.

Me: back to the old, I create my own destiny huh? You’ll reflect my inner world in the outer world, etc

Higher me: You know it. May be best to end this here for now. You’ll go on all night, without character limits. Have you any idea how long you’ve been typing for?

Me: not a clue, haha! A while ago I couldn’t be bothered writing anything, and now look at me, I don’t wanna stop! This is nice. Thanks for guiding me here. And thanks for knocking out the WiFi so I couldn’t watch videos, instead forcing me to do something creative, that was a cunning cosmic plan

Higher me: You’re welcome. The WiFi is back on now. You’re welcome again 😊

Me: oh yeah! Ace. Well, thanks for this, cheerio for now πŸ™

Higher me: Catchya later! πŸ™

How we project our desires and emotions through social media

Want to align your ego and actions with your soul and ‘how you truly feel inside?’ Want to see how other people perceive you? Our own social media photos provide the easiest form of self analysis. As we awaken we often look back on social media and see it through a fresh perspective of OMG WHAT HAVE I BEEN PROJECTING TO THE WORLD.

the horror

There’re different social media platforms for all of our various needs – and we humans often feel the need to express ourselves. Be this artistic creativity, the desire to communicate with others, or just vanity, we can tell a lot about ourselves and each other by taking a look behind what drives us to post the things we do, because when we post without thinking, we are projecting something.

Instagram is about projecting the self, analysing the self, understanding the self, and pictures of people wearing very little – which may be vanity, a low self esteem driven selfie addiction, or body empowerment. Our personal Instagram feed is where we post what we are proud of, what we love, and things that inspire us. It can work the other way around though, we can also inadvertently project our shame.

We all like being liked

Facebook is a more social communicative platform, and while we post all of the things above, the profile picture and banner play a much larger part. Our profile photos shows how we feel inside. Both our eyes and profile pictures are windows to the soul, and we change profile pics when we subconsciously want to express that we feel differently about ourselves. The more often we change them, the more changeable the personality (same goes for hairstyles!).

Don’t look at the photo literally; read its energy. Is it happy, sad, wistful? What’s happening in the photo? Is it heavy, excited, joyful – what does the image evoke in you energy wise? How is this person feeling? What do the eyes say? Are they available to see or covered? Does the profile picture have a real image or a mock up? Are they presenting themselves to the world, or hiding from it? Are they an individual, or a part of a couple? Read it like a tarot card. Then combine it with the banner pic for a fuller story.

Our Facebook profile banner pic shows what we currently desire. Maybe not literally, but what it represents to us, the energy it has or memory it brings up. We feel we need to integrate more of that energy into our lives.

Our music playlists can be a combination of all these things. Look back at the playlists and music genres and lyrics of what you’ve been listening to. That’s how you felt at the time, or what you needed in your life, or something your ego or soul desired, or you’re proud of something, or working something out. Often it’s a jumble and you never really know, but music helps us work out how we feel about everything. Just reading through a list of song titles will give you a reasonable understanding of what you are feeling inside, at a soul level, at the time.

Do you share your music history and playlists publicly? You’re an open book, your soul is on display. Do you prefer to hide your music choices, ashamed of your secret “guilty pleasures”? Then you’re a closed book. You know you’re in a good place for a relationship with someone when you both share your music with each other and like each others’ choices – the power of a mixtape πŸ’žπŸŽ΅

Want to give this theory a try? Look at your partner and best mates profiles with this in mind first, then if you think it’s legit, take a look at yourself from a stranger’s perspective. It will lead to a whole new understanding of what’s going on in your life! Much of it won’t be pretty – deep breath! Remember that acceptance and forgiveness stuff. And if you feel the need to delete – wait – sit on it for a while – deleting is running away from the problem. Acceptance is much much better for us long term.

seeing yourself isn’t pretty

You can also look back at the post you’ve just made, and see what you were projecting afterwards. It’s impossible to do so in real time, you’ll just confuse yourself. I see I’ve discussed here some of the aspects of ego I’m wrestling with as a general theme at the moment, which is clearly evident to anyone else, but not me until I read back what I’ve written to see where I’m at, and I can determine if that’s a positive thing or not πŸ˜‰ Either way, whether we choose to write, post photos, create art or play music, online or on our own; expressing ourselves consciously can give us a far greater understanding of ourselves than by working things out in our head.

Mercury retrograde and karmic soul family

With retrograde and the 5D shift happening, if you’ve ever had friends or relationships, and you likely have, you’ll notice they pop up again.

Why? Because we aren’t fully healed and awakened yet, and we have karma to deal with. If you’re reading this then you’re on that journey, like me, tackling it in a different way, order and speed, but right now shit’s intensifying as the shift intensifies and your emotions may be haywire.

This is because the 5D shift is bringing everyone out of a previous mindset of feeling and thinking. Our core hurts are being energetically brought to the surface, for clearing. We might feel this in body pain, strong back and forth emotions, restlessness, lack of appetite, poor sleep etc. It’s all normal, you are not dying. We are being healed though – whether we like it or not. There’s no running away this time, we are not in control and have to let that go or it will be drummed into us.

This is also accompanied by blasts from the past, they’ll either pop up or you’ll want to contact them. This is to learn the lessons we’ve not yet learnt that we need for our awakening.

IMHO we have three choices that determine how we deal with our karmic lessons; fight, flight, or deal.

Fighting pushes our shadow issues onto them. We project our problems as theirs and see them as a bad person. It may or may not be justified, but it’s us who feels shame/guilt/anger, from this or a past life. If we attract it in a soul mate, it something we need to see that’s inside ourselves as well. Look inwards, feel, and accept it. It’s just human nature. Let go 😭

Flight avoids the problem entirely, we still project our issues onto them, but we pull that negative energy into ourselves, and intensify it. We embody energy, it becomes us, and then we attract new people with similar issues, to reflect back to us what we refuse to deal with. Look inwards, feel, and accept it. It’s just human nature. Let go 😭

Dealing is harder. Without avoidance or projection, we have to accept we are partially at least at fault. That these people represent an aspect of our own personality too. That the feelings they bring up in us are a reflection of our shadow side. If we choose to heal, these people can be our greatest assets, if we can both accept we are not 100% correct. Or, we can stay unhealed from that lesson, and fight or flight instead.

Good luck with your choices 😊 Deal, or no deal?

Working through toxic masculinity

As a bloke I’ve been running on automatic, and an egocentric idiot, in my past, and less so now but still in the present day. These days I am at least more self aware, and able to rectify myself when i feel it’s necessary. At the start of this healing journey I had no clue was toxic – I was a nice guy – overly empathic and giving, attracting narcissistic relationships. Ugh, how much I’ve learnt since then. I’m going to capture my thoughts on the undoing of my own toxicity; masculine and feminine, as I identify it within myself. It’s an ongoing mission…

Previously, I’ve focused on my needs and thought relationships were about finding the right person to fit into the tick box list of acceptable criteria I approved of. People who would fit around my issues and weirdness. If they didn’t, they had an issue and I would point it out.

I’ve been defensive and told intuitive people they were wrong, out of defence and shame for my own actions when pointed out. Defensiveness leads to gaslighting, sadly. Most of us don’t realise we’re even doing it, we just project that shame into anger and push it back. It feels justified at the time, few people are actual narcissists – we all have narcissistic tendencies however, especially if we are acting from shadow impulses, unaware of why we are acting forcefully or defensively.

I grew up in a wounded society, living under the rules of the Church, the entitled and privileged ego of the British Empire, patriarchy and capitalism. This is what I perceive as my toxicity to remove, one bit at a time. To undo the programming put into me, by finding myself through spirit and undoing the behaviours I’ve been taught were ‘right’, which my soul feels are ‘wrong’.

Towards the end of my thirties, my soul felt like it was screaming that everything felt wrong. The idea of releasing and transmuting my negative emotions was completely alien to me. I would have laughed it off and played a competitive video game instead, to take my mind off of the increasing tension and pain in my body and life. Had I not addressed this, I can totally appreciate how I would have ended up a typically shut down, suicidal mid fourties male, unable to comprehend or deal with all of the emotions that I had bottled up for decades. Most men simply don’t understand this until it reaches crisis point, which is why I write articles like this.

“Man up” – “Be a real man”

We have all kinds of wounds from a society that doesn’t promote individual health as paramount – war wounds, ancestral and past life karma, father wounds, mother wounds, inner child wounds, relationship wounds, etc etc. Men are assigned a role from birth as the provider, the defender, the reliable, strong one. While we progress through life without realising or addressing how these wounds and programming affect us, they show up subconsciously in our own behaviour, to make our, and other people’s lives difficult. Emotions don’t get dealt with, instead they turn into resentful behaviour patterns, mental and physical illnesses. We hurt the ones we love, unless we address our inner hurt.

From where i’m sat, we live in a society where the women, in relationships, rule the roost usually. They are more likely to express and deal with their emotions. They know things. They feel things. If we screw up, they’re onto it. They often know best, emotionally, while men stereotypically focus on practical, logical matters. Men counteract emotional intelligence with domination energy in some form, pushing back to shut down the perceived threat.

We need to balance ourselves, start listening, stop pushing, stop denying we’re less than perfect and realise it’s OK to screw up, what’s not OK is to focus on the other person’s perceived screw ups and tell them they need to change. Like attracts like. We are all damaged, both genders, living in a world of duality where men and women see each other as the problem. We all need to back off and give each other a break, because we are all the potential problem for someone else.

When the masculine stop energetically attacking, either aggressively or defensively, then the feminine can begin to heal… They can slowly realise the previous threats they’ve encountered from other men won’t happen here, and can begin to relax and lower their defences. We can begin to balance out, level off, and meet in the middle. At this point the feminine are often confronted with their own toxicity – no longer needing to employ tactics to work around the masculine’s aggressiveness, their own issues suddenly become apparent, as we have all attempted to control each other in the past, one way or another. Feminine tactics usually use more subtle forms of control – guilt, silence, social triangulation, or emotional manipulation is very effective at counteracting any masculine dominant energy. We all balance each other out one way or another! It takes time and understanding to work through this, usually through relationships where good communication, mutual respect and understanding, setting healthy boundaries and holding space for each other can take place to encourage mutual healing.

Apart from attracting healthier future relationships and healing ourselves, there’s a carrot on a stick for fellas by embracing their own inner feminine energy. By learning to breathe properly, slowing down, stop pretending everything’s fine, accepting help and opening our hearts, something happens. Our defences lessen and we become more reasonable. We learn about ourselves. People are nicer to us. Our intuition switches on. Our psychic abilities develop. Suddenly we know what’s going on like our partners always have done, and can’t be fooled like before. We know when others are projecting their toxicity onto us. Then we have that same power we’ve been trying to shut down in our partners before, and we can relax and begin to heal as well. We no longer need to be aggressive or forceful, and stop. Defenses can be lowered, all round. When both parties in a relationship have great intuition, there’s no room for games – it promotes an honest, trusting, mutually beneficial, supportive relationship dynamic.

That’s my goal and reason for doing this inner work. Is that self serving and narcissistic? Should I be focusing on myself only? Probably, but also I am human, and I know what I want in life in order to be as happy as I can be. I’ve spent most of my awakening journey in isolation, and while I am really comfortable with that and pretty happy overall, it’s not what I want forever. I believe we find our healthy relationships by doing the inner work first. Find balance within ourselves, to end up not needing a relationship – that’s when we are in the best place to have a healthy one. I’d rather not be doing inner work forever, at some point I hope to run out of issues to correct within myself, truly love myself with an overflowing cup, and be ready for the kind of life and partnership I dream of, but I know it comes first by continually accepting and finding balance within myself first.

Find happiness and your ideal relationship within yourself, first

So men; if you want to feel genuinely strong, allow yourself to feel gentle first. Embrace your inner femininity without fear – it will make you ultimately far more powerful as a person than focusing on traditional masculine pursuits such as being physically and financially powerful. Power comes with responsibility, and currently there are too many powerful men in this world showing they don’t know how to handle that quite yet, including myself. It’s not a quick fix and it takes time – but it’s definitely worth it. Just gently keep plugging away at the honest work β˜―️

Note: we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy. Many men are mostly feminine and many women are mostly masculine. Culture is changing big time, and in the future we’re likely to become a pretty androgynous species. We have a 50/50 energy spilt available to us to tap into, so this is at least partially relevant for whichever gender – or absence of – that you personally identify with.

5G and culture control

I play a video game called Tropico, where you start an island colony from nothing, and build it up into a financially sustainable island, through working, importing & exporting goods.

At first you start off with a few islanders, with specific skills for the work you need them to do. They have needs: shelter, food, entertainment, health, transport, good working conditions. I sort of care of them, in that I pay attention to their needs, because I need them until the population increases, to power new money making industries.


At the end of the game, you reach population cap. You’re on an island, run out of room, depleted natural resources, and you need to make more money. At that point people become a problem. You need to get rid of the ones you don’t want. First few games I loved my islanders and cared so much about their virtual lifestyle happiness I lost the game. Later I discovered a tip to win, and it’s just a game so why not, I can buy a drone device to put in the centre of town. It has a positive function so it’s accepted by society; at first it kills criminals. Later, it also weeds out and kills the people with the lowest approval rating for my El Presidente, making room for new, more compliant and skilled immigrants.

When your populations’s outgrown your available space, human rights become less important


I don’t think I would do that in real life where I feel compassion for my fellow human beings, this is just a video game and I am playing by the rules to win that game. No-one actually suffers or dies. But I appreciate I have the capability for taking that cold logical action within me as a human being, justifiable in the cause of money and winning, with things I have no empathy for such as video game people. As do we all, it’s part of human nature we hopefully choose not to cultivate. Unless we become CEOs or government politicians, we’ll thankfully never know.

Power corrupts. Life imitates art. Thankfully the drones wouldn’t work in reality, people would reject them. The El Presidente would theoretically need some war or natural disaster, child control, or better – to get the population to remove *themselves* somehow…

In other news, here comes that new high speed 5G data network rollout, so we can watch more animal videos to soothe our thoughts, woohoo! πŸ˜‰ I’m sure that’s entirely unrelated to this post… Right?

Its not funny when it becomes real

An awakening, alchemical, astrological, spiritual, shamanic perspective on life, love, the universe, and everything in-between