Tag Archives: karma

The meaning of life

January 6, 2020 The Roadie Leave a comment

What is life? What’s it all about? What a question. There are a few differing definitions, to say the least. Life is love! Feeling gives life meaning. Life is the universe expressing itself. And of course, if you’re a geek like me then the meaning of life is 42. You’re going to get a different answer depending who you ask.

Life is pain and pleasure

If you ask me, and you kind of are right now, life is paaaain. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? Well yes, this is my dramatic opening statement, but bear with me, it gets better. On the most part life is about experiencing experiences, and through pain we grow, learn, and have better experiences. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – pain is the flip side to pleasure, and through first experiencing pain we later experience more pleasure than we were capable of experiencing before. Otherwise, a pleasurable experience is just normal, and we take it for granted, so it loses its meaning. The more pain we experience, the more pleasure we can appreciate. Not always though. Only if we choose to, as happiness is a choice.

Life is Heaven and Hell

Pain is heavy maaan, literally, it’s a denser lower vibrational energy than pleasure, and it literally sucks us down. Physical, mental, or emotional, pain sucks us down into our own personal hell, and life on Earth is then lived out as if we were in Hell – which essentially we are. Most people live in ‘Hell’, as this world is setup for humans to do so, it keeps people under control, a cruel but clever management technique. People in hell work hard to try to find their way out of it, and in this society we think that money brings us pleasure. Sometimes it can, and sometimes it traps us in a hellish mindset where money becomes more important than love, and we forget what real pleasure is actually about. We numb ourselves to life through work, over thinking, TV, sex, food, drink or drugs, addictions of all sorts, anything to make us feel a little better, in the moment.

Humans are kept working hard to buy things they don’t really need, so they can feel temporarily happy. True happiness awaits us at retirement when we are often too old to fully enjoy life, especially if working has damaged our mind, body and soul. Humans are kept working hard to increase their country’s GDP, too tired to become a problem, and too numb to remember what life should really be about.

There’s a reason it’s called ‘retail therapy’

Who do you know is truly happy rather than content, or struggling on through life? What’s the ratio to unhappy people you know? Usually we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have a good enough partner, we don’t have enough friends, we don’t have the perfect face or body, we don’t have the perfect home or family, we don’t have enough stuff, etc. Capitalism and marketing provides us a drip feed feeling of emotional lack and pain, which keeps us in an emotional state of ‘Hell’.

Life is like Star Wars

Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering – emotional, physical and spiritual. Just as religious texts teach it, so does spirituality, and so does Star Wars. The force is energy, the light side is ‘good’, the dark side is ‘evil’, Star Wars is a modern day storytelling of ‘the father, son and holy spirit’ for audiences who have lost their connection to spirit, but feel okay to call it an imaginary force because that’s not religious. It’s all the same thing. Watch it again – see how morals become corrupted, and an empire and relationships once in ‘Heaven’ descends to ‘Hell’ through pain, anger, revenge, and passed down karma to repay.

Ever notice how the Star Wars films are three cycles of trilogies, all repeating similar themes from a different perspective or with different characters? This is the cycle of life we also live in, the number 3 is very important. What goes around comes around, and you can’t escape from your past. Instead, face your fears, you must – this is the path of the Jedi!

Life is about Karma

So life is kinda like Star Wars, and some appreciate that more than others. Life is also joy, if we choose to work through our own dark side and choose to embody the light side within us – that’s where we find our pleasure. Some of us are lucky enough to be born into an environment with a support system which leads us to live relatively easy, joyful lives. That usually happens because we’ve worked off a lot of karma in our last lives. We are born, reincarnated with karma / sin, into a tricky astrological setup to make peace with, or born into poverty or a country having a hard time, etc.

If not, we just have parents, and every parent gives their child something to work out later on in life, as parents pass on their karma to their kin. Or we have no parents we know of, and additional issues to work out from that. We inherit both our ancestral karma from our family lineage, and our own past life Karma. We’re all karma karma karma karma karma chameleons. It binds us together and dominates our life experiences until we work our way through it. Some people say they have none, that karma doesn’t carry across over reincarnations – well, maybe they don’t, perhaps they’re playing a different game of life to the one i’m familiar with, but this theory fits perfectly for me.

Through this karmic challenge we inherit, we attract appropriate life situations and people to reflect our karma back to us, and if we make good intuitive decisions which feels right for us, we learn to pay back that karma and experience more joy in our lives. Alternatively, we stay suffering. If we do, we’ve likely made others suffer in this, or our past lives, and we need to understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that, so we stop doing it. Life isn’t necessarily fair – on a single life basis. Often the karmic life lessons we get are worse than what we feel we deserve – often this is a lesson to smack us in the face and jolt us out of our dark side behaviour if we’re not listening to the universe’s subtler messages. Over multiple lives though, life is perfectly balanced.

Life is about improving ourselves

Essentially life is about making ourselves better in some way – the human spirit strives to improve itself – because we all begin our lives as karma-ridden kids unless this is our very first incarnation on earth. We are first incarnated into simple organisms, and learn how to live as them. When we reincarnate, we come back as a slightly more advanced life form if we deserve it, if we mastered the last one’s lessons. After a few simple lives, we turn into creatures with emotions, and then those creatures attack each other usually, out of necessity to survive. The animal kingdom is cruel, and we become so in order to live, it’s dog eat dog out there without civilisation to give us rules to abide to. No matter how saintly we think we are as humans living in the modern age with our etiquette and pleasantries, we have all lived past lives full of stuff like murder, rape, torture, cheating, lying, warfare – everything. We’ve either been on the receiving end of it or dished it out, but we all have bad memories to or repay by experiencing something similar. If not as humans, then as animals at least. Every. Single. Human. We can’t be saints without first have been a sinner.

Once we get to the human stage, we have, in theory, developed the capacity to determine ‘right from wrong’. We have moral compasses, culture to conform to, and the ability to empathise with other’s pain. When we’re at this stage, we’re meant to stop acting like savages and evolve. Some of us do, and some of us keep acting like animals. For the latter, they get to be an animal in their next life, as they’ve shown they’re not ready for being a decent human yet. Humans are animals too. We live a lot of lives, as males, females, and a variety of species. We do it all. It’s just that each time we start again we mentally forget, while we instinctively remember, and repeat our patterns.

Life is about experiencing life

Is this your soul purpose? Someone’s gotta do it, for the sake of the universe!

We’re all God’s children, the religious will say. The universe wants to experience itself, the spiritual will say. Same thing.

Whatever we call it, spirit doesn’t have a body, but it has consciousness it shares with us. Imagine you were a spirit without form – what would you do? You would likely want to enjoy yourself, basically. See what you can do with a body. You’d want to explore, learn, travel, love, fight, feel, make something more of yourself – you would want to live. Our souls feel this way too, because our souls are spirit. We’re unhappy when we’re out of alignment our soul’s purpose. If we do what the universe would rather we didn’t, we don’t have a good time.

Life is about finding our soul’s purpose

We all have a soul’s purpose, or destiny, or something we always felt we wanted to do. Something we were meant for. What would you do if money was no object, if you had the material possessions you wanted, and were single and happy with that? If you wanted for nothing, what would you do? That’s your soul’s purpose. It might be working! That’s fine, lucky you if so. More often than not, it’s not, and not many of us get to do what we feel we were born to do, because we have to earn money to survive. Life on Earth is about trying to find a way back to our soul’s purpose, because that’s what will bring us joy. That’s our Heaven on Earth. To get there we’ve got to work through our pain / karma.

Life is what you make of it

There is another essential aspect to consider; life is what we make of it. Destiny may be fixed, but there’s no fate but what we make. We may have a general inescapable theme to our lives set in our soul contracts / astrology setup, but the way in which we go about it, how, where, and who we do that with are all subject to change, and what we attract along the way. We make our own luck, we’re in charge of our own life, dreams can come true, we are the magic makers, the dreamers of dreams, what we focus on we attract. What do these common phrases mean?

We are what we eat, we are what we think, but mostly we are what we feel. What we feel becomes an energy we carry around with us. This energy then attracts both equal, and opposing energies towards it, like a magnet; our ‘magnetic personalities’. Broadly speaking, an empath will attract another empath, and a narcissist. A hateful person attracts other hateful people and a forgiving person. Opposites can both repel and attract each other, because we are energetically instinctively drawn to certain people whose energies match ours, both in a mix of similar, and opposing energies.

Life is love

We attract both our light side and our dark side mirrors. It’s a mixture of attracting what we need for our soul’s purpose, and it’s always a blend of energies that both repel and attract in various different amounts… relationships stay together if they remain more positive than negative over time. Someone needs to provide the positivity – if it’s just one, then that energy is drained over time until both feel negatively about themselves, each other and the relationship, then break up or stick it out for the sake of the kids/marriage. Once we have gained enough positive energy back, we give it another try, having learnt whatever lessons we needed to learn. Periods of time alone in-between relationships helps, if we don’t want to go straight into another similar situation on the rebound. We can’t solve our problems when we bounce from one relationship to the other, we simply project our problems onto our partner instead. We can think and feel our way out of these repeating patterns.

Soul mates, be them family, friends, acquaintances or lovers, are our karmic lessons, we attract each other to show us aspects of our personalities that we don’t want to see; our shadow sides. When we throw shade or blame at our karmic partner, or strongly deny that we aren’t like X or Y, this is our shadow speaking. Your partner will likely think the opposite – it takes one to know one! How we emotionally handle this determines whether we grow from it, stay stuck with it, or make it worse. If we keep attracting the same type of people, we are the problem in a way we still can’t see. We need to learn from them, rather than blame them for everything. We can rarely change anyone. We can change and better ourselves – our own energy – and then our partners either raise their level to meet us, or we split and later attract people with similar, healed energy. We have a slightly better life with them, learn more lessons, and evolve. If we both evolve together, we are much more likely to stay together. Relationships are quite simple when we get down to the nuts and bolts of it. Is our energy either higher, or lower than theirs? Will we bring each other down to Hell, split up, or raise each other up to Heaven?

Life is about learning lessons

In learning our lessons from each other, we can grow from them. This repays our karma. The religious viewpoint of repenting from your sins is pretty over the top in my opinion, it’s simply about making good life choices, that feel in line with our soul’s purpose. Go with your gut – rather than self-flagellation.

Life is about experiencing things and people, messing up, learning what we did wrong, and doing better. On repeat, over and over again. This is how we become happy, find joy, experience more pleasure. Once we break out of a hell mindset, joy enters our lives. Once it does, if we expect to attract more joy, we do. Vicious cycles are broken, and life becomes a snowball of incremental happiness (mixed in with any difficult lessons necessary for growth along the way). There’s a formula to life, how to fit within and go along with its flow, how life cycles work, what to expect in your life at certain ages and astrological events, etc.

Life can become a lot easier and enjoyable if we pay attention to what’s happening beneath our automatic, instinctive emotional reactions. This allows us to see our dark, shadow side, and work our way out of it. When we learn to love life, then life loves us back 😊

Life is about appreciating life

So in summary, what is the meaning of life? It feels arrogant of me to provide an answer to that, but because I am 42 right now, I’m giving it a go. Life is to experience experiences, both enjoyable and unenjoyable. To feel, rather than to numb ourselves through it. Without the bad, there can be no good. Life is to love; ourselves and each other. To attract people and situations to allow us to see both our own light and shadow side behaviour, so we can understand, accept, and grow from it, in order to attain a more pleasurable life afterwards. Just like a flower or tree or a mythical Jedi, we start off in a dark place and grow towards the light. Life is beautiful, and so are you. Someone out there thinks so, you’re the way you are for a reason, and the energetic mirror to someone else to help them grow too.

So appreciate life, every day if you can, all the difficulties and the pleasures, because if you’re reading this, whatever is going on in your life you have the means to read the internet, likely a roof over your head, food in your belly, and you’re educated enough to read – and learn – and you’re growing. You’re doing OK at life. Give yourself a pat on the back, and say thanks to whatever and whoever you feel gave you this life, and it will get a little better, every single day 😁 Whether you’re an internet stranger or friend or family, thankyou for reading this and therefore energetically being a part of my life, I am very grateful 🙏

channelling, higher self, Self analysis, toxicity

Channelling challenges

November 22, 2019 The Roadie Leave a comment

Channelling appears to be both my spiritual strength, and weakness. I began this blog post intending to do some channelling, but instead it seems my higher self wants me to write down and analyse how I feel about that, because I feel a lot about it. I may be channelling now, I’m never entirely sure until I read the post back afterwards, but it sure feels like I am meant to write this post, and it’s flowing effortlessly, unlike when I attempt to write some form of thought out article.

Before I started this website I had an Instagram and Facebook account, where I expressed my horror towards the dark night of the soul, attempted to find my soul tribe, and let off some steam. It began with memes and one liners, and as I grew in confidence that actually it wasn’t just me going through this spiritual awakening process, I began to make my own memes, take off my mask, open up, and write more personally.

One thing I wasn’t sure about discussing was channelling. Some people channel alien transmissions, and that seems to go down relatively harmlessly on the internet, but I tend to pick up the energies of what I interpret as ancient civilization gods and goddesses, and occasionally Source, which some people feel is God with a capital G and that’s very important… all my interactions with these energies comes through with my voice, but feeling and saying things I normally wouldn’t. I’d see the daily online Source transmissions and messages from the universe, and while i resonated with their content, I expressed that energy like.. well, like me. I felt I would cheapen the message if I added in my brand of vocabularily amd ropey grammar, and I wasn’t sure of what I was doing, or if it was real in the early stages. Quoting all of these named deities and passing on their messages to humanity seemed like a recipe for disaster, and I decided against it.

One of the energies I felt safe with was my higher self. I didn’t really know what it was at the time, but it was a voice in the back my my mind that answered me back when I asked myself a question, (usually after an ego response) and unlike my ego, it always made sense. It felt like it knew every thing i’d ever read or heard or felt, and put it to me in an egoless state. I knew it felt right, as usually it gently kicked my arse and told me where I was going wrong, but in a way which would lead to self improvement. It was my higher self, personal to me, so i thought this was the perfect voice to channel…

I began writing down my conversations with higher me, in conversational format. Instead of some wannabe guru type spilling his recently amassed supposed wisdom from the cosmos, I became the butt of my own higher self’s jokes. I thought, at the time, this would be a great way for me to get my message across, without coming across too hoity toity, and usually it was at least partially amusing, because my higher self talks to me like I talk, and I often try to find the comedy in difficult situations… maybe as a defence mechanism from engaging with actual emotion, which isn’t great, but at least it can be fun for others to read, and fun – in theory – gets shared. At first, it was just me trying to express a story. A journalistic format which would keep me humble. My media strategy as I set out to encourage other people to channel their higher selves too – my little bit in helping this ascension of humanity malarkey.

Quite quickly, I realised I’d stopped trying to tell a story and was simply in a trance state, channelling away. The point I began to make was quickly highjacked by my higher self and I recieved some kind of humiliating lesson instead. My higher mind was in charge of the whole thing, including my responses. ‘Me’ became a character of sorts, playing the dumb role of a man having no idea what was going on during his spiritual awakening, even though often it was a reminder of something I’d learnt but forgotten from a while back, and was now integrating. It was totally spot on and I was regularly shocked and humbled. Sometimes it made me look way smarter or way dafter than reality. In ‘reality’ I am both ‘Me’ and my higher self, but online the role of Me because a character of sorts, a film version of me playing me, similar but different. Perfect, I thought, I was channelling and learning and getting messages from spirit across to others without being a know it all. I thought.

Eventually I realised I was also tapping into my higher self’s soul family and monad group. There was nothing individual at all about what I was channelling. That’s when the weirdness began. I had inadvertantly tapped into the energy of the 5D collective consciousness. People started saying that my conversations with my higher self were the same conversations they were having. I was describing their day. People thought I was speaking directly to them. In their heads – how else could I know exactly what they were thinking? Lots took offense, and thought I was passively aggressively trying to teach them a lesson, that I myself was also learning that day. Some thought Higher me was made up entirely. A number of people projected onto me that I was their twin flame, or some other form of soul family destiny. People manifested me, told me I was theirs, how they knew where I lived and would track me down, and put spells on me. One posted photos of a voodoo doll with all kinds of foreign incantations clearly aimed at me, and I really felt that. This all suddenly happened – one day I was anonymous, the next I had half a dozen offers of love in the same week. It was overwhelming and one sided, some I ignored, some I spoke to and tried to put them off.

Until the day where I received multiple offers of overwhelming love bombing, I had been oblivious, focussing on my own journey and interactions with spirit. Having being a sick chap most of my life, attention from the opposite sex was rare, and I wasn’t expecting it or in a good place to do anything about it, I was in the spiritual isolation phase, dark night of the soul. However the more I avoided or, stopped following any accounts that triggered me, the more intense the interactions became.

I feel that a man going online and breaking down his most private and spiritual emotions publicly, received a similar reaction as if a girl had walked onto a club dancefloor and started taking her clothes off. I just wanted to understand and express myself freely, but people got too full on, and I eventually had to take a break from social media. My energy body felt like it was being pulled in a dozen different directions, my thoughts were all over the place, and my heart constantly felt stabbed with a dozen pins. Be in the heart they say – I couldn’t. It hurt, really badly, and still does a little. It’s physically painful for me to live in the heart. I’m paying back a lot of past life karma right now, where clearly I was at the very least, a very naughty witch. The mirrors I was attracting showed me how intense my own repressed energy was, and how I was also caught up in the twin flame destiny malarkey, thinking it was the first person I’d connected with at a spiritual level. Women acting towards me reflected how full on I must have been, emotionally if not physically, as a masculine youth before I decided to sorry myself out. It was all a very horrible and humiliating lesson.

A lot of energy work later, some major toxin clearing and keeping away from Instagram and Facebook, I feel clearer, lighter, and back to myself. My thoughts feel my own again. My heart aches a little, but not a lot. I can breathe deeply again and have lost the overwhelming sense of anxiety i’d been carrying all year. Before I delve back into social media and ‘real’ groups of people, if I do, I need to heal my heart space, and improve my energy management and psychic protection skills. Next time, i’ll be going in with bigger boundaries.

However, in my social break, I’m not channelling any more. I’m missing out on the lessons my higher self has for me. If I try to channel privately, it works to an extent, but my higher self is very clear that it wants me to do this online as well, because it’s the most effective way of persuading others to get in contact with their own higher selves. So here I am, starting again on a website rather than social media, delighting in the fact that this page may have less than a dozen people ever read it. How things have changed, the social media strategist inside of me doesn’t know what to make of this whatsoever! But for me, this feels right. I need to write, and release what’s inside of me, but I don’t want the overwhelmingly weird attention it gets.

Me: higher me, is it time for a test?

± Higher me: It certainly is. How does this feel for you?

± Me: different. Not as smooth. The little ± symbol i use to signify switching between you and me seems redundant. The WordPress phone app keyboard is slower than Instagram, I keep making typos if I go at normal speed. Which means I am actually getting more info from you, it feels more meditative, it’s frustrating but probably good for me, i’m typing more mindfully. The formatting is different. I love the lack of character limit though. Love it!

Higher me: Well, it’s time! It was good for you to learn getting your point across succinctly, but now it’s restricting you. You’ve got the freedom to write whatever you want now, and while almost noone will read this, emotionally you are now writing for your self, and the right reasons, not the attention from people who made you feel good about yourself every day. This is a lot better for your ego. Otherwise you may have ended up turning into a bit of a knobhead

Me: thanks higher me, I see we’re straight back into public character assassination. But alright. I see your point. Is there anything in particular you would like to say right now, or shall we pick this up tomorrow on a post that isn’t already pretty long? Yay no character limits or people reading my stuff and getting weird! Freedoooom!

Higher me: Ha, enjoy it while it lasts. Once people recognise your higher me, i.e. me is speaking to you with info that’s relevant for your soul group, i.e. them, that will change. Whichever medium you use. It’s kind of the point. Anyone can write an article, but it has limited effect and reach. Channelling me will literally energetically attract your soul group here. But you have a while to channel freely without having to worry about that. Just a while 😉

Me: I would really prefer to keep my personal stuff and the usual ego bashing to a minimum on this website please. I’m hoping to, you know, be respected and earn a basic living from this one day. Any chance we could make this more about me asking useful questions about life, rather than you constantly embarrassing me in the name of the universe exploring itself, with me as it’s comedy lackey, having my ego whittled away as some form of universal entertainment?

Higher me: That’s down to you, buddy. If you have a lesson to learn and you’re listening, I’m gonna teach it to you. How I do that is up to you, because I’ll teach it to you in the same way as you feel about yourself. If you’re giving yourself a hard time, so will I. If you’re making light of a difficult situation, so will I. You know how this goes. I’m you, your mirror, and also a lot of other things too.

Me: back to the old, I create my own destiny huh? You’ll reflect my inner world in the outer world, etc

Higher me: You know it. May be best to end this here for now. You’ll go on all night, without character limits. Have you any idea how long you’ve been typing for?

Me: not a clue, haha! A while ago I couldn’t be bothered writing anything, and now look at me, I don’t wanna stop! This is nice. Thanks for guiding me here. And thanks for knocking out the WiFi so I couldn’t watch videos, instead forcing me to do something creative, that was a cunning cosmic plan

Higher me: You’re welcome. The WiFi is back on now. You’re welcome again 😊

Me: oh yeah! Ace. Well, thanks for this, cheerio for now 🙏

Higher me: Catchya later! 🙏

astrology, love

Mercury retrograde and karmic soul family

November 19, 2019 The Roadie Leave a comment

With retrograde and the 5D shift happening, if you’ve ever had friends or relationships, and you likely have, you’ll notice they pop up again.

Why? Because we aren’t fully healed and awakened yet, and we have karma to deal with. If you’re reading this then you’re on that journey, like me, tackling it in a different way, order and speed, but right now shit’s intensifying as the shift intensifies and your emotions may be haywire.

This is because the 5D shift is bringing everyone out of a previous mindset of feeling and thinking. Our core hurts are being energetically brought to the surface, for clearing. We might feel this in body pain, strong back and forth emotions, restlessness, lack of appetite, poor sleep etc. It’s all normal, you are not dying. We are being healed though – whether we like it or not. There’s no running away this time, we are not in control and have to let that go or it will be drummed into us.

This is also accompanied by blasts from the past, they’ll either pop up or you’ll want to contact them. This is to learn the lessons we’ve not yet learnt that we need for our awakening.

IMHO we have three choices that determine how we deal with our karmic lessons; fight, flight, or deal.

Fighting pushes our shadow issues onto them. We project our problems as theirs and see them as a bad person. It may or may not be justified, but it’s us who feels shame/guilt/anger, from this or a past life. If we attract it in a soul mate, it something we need to see that’s inside ourselves as well. Look inwards, feel, and accept it. It’s just human nature. Let go 😭

Flight avoids the problem entirely, we still project our issues onto them, but we pull that negative energy into ourselves, and intensify it. We embody energy, it becomes us, and then we attract new people with similar issues, to reflect back to us what we refuse to deal with. Look inwards, feel, and accept it. It’s just human nature. Let go 😭

Dealing is harder. Without avoidance or projection, we have to accept we are partially at least at fault. That these people represent an aspect of our own personality too. That the feelings they bring up in us are a reflection of our shadow side. If we choose to heal, these people can be our greatest assets, if we can both accept we are not 100% correct. Or, we can stay unhealed from that lesson, and fight or flight instead.

Good luck with your choices 😊 Deal, or no deal?

Source Code Consciousness