Category Archives: masculine/feminine balance

Manifesting a new earth’s golden age

So I’ve been banging on about the golden age for some time now, feeling it and working towards sharing those feels with the conscious collective for a few years. http://www.instagram.com/awakeameme was my place to see and address the obstacles to that path, and mostly working through my dark night of the soul’s shadow work rather than positive visioning manifesting. I’m doing more of that now, and I’m much more consciously aware of how my words affect my and others reality these days. Writing things down really does help make it happen, and publishing it publicly makes it happen faster.

So, what is the golden age energy I’m feeling?

It’s a future which hasn’t manifested in 3D yet. But consciously, it’s kicking in, and growing like seeds. The seeds are sown. Flowers, which when grown will create more flowers. As linear time unfolds it becomes a field of sunflowers, and I’m standing in it going “ahh this is lovely!”

Every positive thought towards a golden future makes a difference

It’s an energetic template to embody – like a divine feminine/masculine, twin flame, that sort of thing. It’s a combination of these, and kicks in when combined with emotional alchemy and self actualisation through healing our negative karma, with light, shadow and inner child work.

It’s a combination of the masculine force – God energy, and feminine flow – Goddess energy. Rather than being about the battle between light and dark, it’s appreciation that without darkness there can be no light – it’s making peace with our own shadows and no longer fearing ourselves or each other. Respect and reverence for all and realising we are all opposite reflections of the same thing – and that we are all one. It’s a place where different religions and factions of spirituality learn to appreciate each other’s perspectives, and how similar all are underneath the historical infighting. It’s to feel the Alpha and Omega inside of us and reach creator mode, where what we say and do affects our outer reality much faster. It’s a mental dimension and mood to reach – then the challenge is to stay in that mindset and energy while the 3D world reacts in 🤯 as they don’t know what to do with it. It’s ‘holding the line’ in 3D until reality reflects our positive feelings back to us. It feels like becoming like a sun, and seeing the planets orbit around you, but rarely too closely. The people who resonate with you are either their own suns too, or close to becoming one. And that’s ok, as we don’t need anyone, we’re happy and full of love for ourselves, with a full love cup and a radiating upper heart chackra. Sun-flowers. Others make life better, rather than fill a hole in our sole, as our souls are restored, and our energy is no longer being depleted by negative forces. Instead of chasing what we need, we attract it by living our best lives, until we need for nothing. It’s inner and outer peace.

One for all, and all for one love!

In terms of relationships it’s letting go of attachment, yet still loving fully. It’s like everyone is each others ‘twin flame’, and can unconditionally love from the heart, without the drama. Codependency, envy, loneliness and jealously fall away and are replaced with appreciation for the other having a fulfilling life, while encouraging you to do so also. If that’s the traditional family unit, great, that works for many and there is no need for anything to change. If it isn’t, it’s freedom and encouragement to be whoever you are, with shame and judgement replaced with acceptance and appreciation for life’s rich tapestry of different ways to feel and be. It’s the end to having to conform to rules set by others on how we should feel – it’s freedom to be ourselves!

Connected through unconditional love, we mentally, emotionally, and physically feel each other’s energetic bodies. We know and feel if we’ve made someone happy or upset, and as it affects us too, we instinctively own our issues and try to make things better. It’s knowing and feeling that to hurt another is to hurt yourself, and to love another is to love yourself. It reinforces the basic core guidance of spirituality and religion – to treat others as we wish to be treated, and to treat ourselves as we wish others treated us. It’s appreciating that we’re all mirrors of each other, and instead of trying to change someone else, we heal ourselves and let the other make their own decisions in their own time. It’s letting go of controlling others, and supporting them, if they want it. The global energy of control shifts towards collaboration and equality.

It’s a place of healing where grown ups heal from their limiting conditioning and traumas, and children grow up in safe and loving environments, with enough responsible adults to care for them, so they never learn early trauma, codependency or loneliness. They grow up to be healthier and happier than we were, with positive, healthy influences looking after them in a supportive environment, more like a tribal setting, who I believe we can learn so much from on how to live connected with each other, the land, seasons and spirit. The golden age feels in tune with the natural rhythms of Gaia, space and time, with galactic natural law and time restored on earth to the 13 moon cycle calendar – turtle time!

Natural time is where synchronicity is the default setting for life, rather than an occasional surprise, and we synch back up with the natural rhythms and flow of mother Earth’s seasons, instinctively feeling her – as birds do, for example. From this place we are in tune with the seasons, what we feel we should do, and when. We all flow naturally, like a turtle riding the current – living in the now.

Turtle interpretation from the Oneida people 🐢

From here, life progresses effortlessly. It becomes a breeze. Guided by the energies and at one with the Tao we feel connected with everything, yet still feel like individuals who can choose to live the life they want to to live. It’s a combination of our egos working in collaboration with spirit, letting go of blame or rejection of either.

With all of this self love, acceptance and sharing comes natural flowing abundance, in health, wealth and love for and from others. Everyone has their basic needs met, and survival mode is no longer a thing. Financially all have enough to live on if they choose a simple life, with a warm and happy home to live in. New forms of free, sustainable energy become available through combining the technology of past civilisations with Tesla’s models, with capitalism and profits no longer being the sole driving force behind infrastructure investment.

Everyone has the option to work if they want to earn more and improve their lives, and many will want to, so we can still live within a system with electricity and supermarkets and cities and whatnot – if we choose that life. No-one has to lose a lifestyle they love, if it’s working for them. Change is optional. For those who don’t want to work in the traditional 9-5 sense, land is freed up and allocated to people who are free to create their own self sufficient communities, with freedom to live as they choose. Council standards are relaxed and communities are free to choose their own rules to live by. Borders are open, immigration is encouraged, humans are free to be and live however and wherever they choose.

Plant those trees and permaculture plots all over the place!

There is no class system – everyone gets the same living wage from a central, global fund (relative to each country’s basic living requirements) and decides what to do with it. The living wage actually covers living and housing requirements, rather than being a pittance trapping people into poverty. Rather than being seen as benefits, it’s an individual living wage all are entitled to by default. Corporations pay full tax, no exclusions, no foreign bank accounts. Individuals have a cap on the amount of savings they can horde, with anything over an alloted amount automatically diverted to a central fund, devoted to charities cleaning up the planet.

People can still work to become rich if they want – but this savings/profit limit encourages the rich to spend regularly, and funnel their profits back into society. Workers are treated with respect, because they don’t financially rely on their job, and are therefore free to leave any roles that aren’t treating them well. Many people want to work, when they enjoy their work. Physically and emotionally demanding jobs are the best paid roles, i.e. nurses are paid far more than office workers. Fair treatment and pay returns to the job market.

Politicians return to their original function of being true servants to the people. The left vs right system of politics is disbanded, and replaced with country councils of experts in their field, democratically voted in by the people. Information is shared across the globe, working collaboratively on initiatives, based on which country is doing best in their respective areas of expertise. Political promises made are recorded and checked, and those who fulfil their promises stay elected. If not there is a democratic election to replace one person at a time. Politics media spin is replaced by fact checking promises vs results. To encourage more long term sustainable investment initiatives for the future, political experts stay in their role for as long as they are doing a good job. All politicians are monitored independently for corruption, and that group are monitored for corruption too. The watchers watch the watchers watching the watchers.

Human rights, where all are respected as autonomous sovereign beings, are paramount. Everyone has individual free will and choice over what they allow into their bodies, minds, hearts, energy field and souls, and how they choose to live. Political councils are there to organise democratically voted in initiatives rather than dictate them. The people have the power.

We’re literally all in this together

We experience both security, and freedom. We get what we need automatically – and we can work if we want to appeal to our ego’s wants and desires, to improve our life to have more luxury – but it is no longer a necessity to survive. We can be still, or achieve, with no pressure to do either unless it feels right for us. We are free to fulfill our soul’s purpose (dharma) without the need to work to survive. Our soul’s purpose feels more like fun than work, and we heal ourselves and others, rippling peace and love out to the planet and wider cosmos.

It’s the end to poverty and hunger, and solution to our growing population’s food issues. People feel free, emotionally fulfilled, no longer slaves, no longer energetically manipulated/raped/abused/disrespected/depleted by the system. With this shift people naturally stop wanting to eat meat or dairy, as they no longer resonate with or require food with similar energy to take the edge off of their emotions – which they no longer need to suppress to get through their stressful working day. As within, so without. As jobs and pay become fairer, people eat lighter and healthier.

The 5 day working week is reduced to 4, and later 3 days a week where feasible. By restoring our weekly work/life balance back to health and having more rest time than work, while eliminating our environmental and emotional problems, the world slowly and gently turns vegetarian, and then vegan. Love and compassion for all replace fear, stress and a dog eat dog attitude. Love becomes our default feeling for all sentient beings, and we live in harmony as one. Addictions to take the edge off of trauma and stress, also naturally come to an end. The planet is emotionally alchemised back to full health and harmony.

We need much less food, as our emotions are already fulfilled – we feel full – and we feel energised from each other, the earth and the sky – so we move towards healthy breatharianism. This shift occurs naturally and generationally, as food is the emotional crutch holding society together, and the hardest addiction to give up. We are happy, we stop emotionally eating, and eat what is right for us in healthy amounts. While this happens we no longer need to cater for the modern day obesity crisis, less farm land is required, which can then be bought by central funds and allocated towards self sustaining communities and re-wilding the planet.

Believe it to achieve it

Happiness, good health and having our basic needs met then slows down the world’s population boom. We have children out of love and because we are in a good position to start a family, rather than by accident or a subconscious need for more love in our lives. People are encouraged to heal and integrate their inner child, rather than subconsciously create a mirror mini-me to see their trauma and pass their karma on to. Negative karma is paid off, globally. The amount of people on earth shifts back to what she can support, and the world’s ecosystem and weather stabilise.

Our schooling and health systems are radically reformed, so people are taught how to holistically manage their physical, spiritual, energetic, mental and emotional health from day one. Disease is eradicated, due to people feeling at ease with themselves and their lives. Health complaints are treated with energy, light and sound, with us having a full understanding of emotional frequencies and the associated energy/image/audio required to reset any issues before they become serious physical complaints.

Genetically, we activate our dormant DNA back to our original template before humans began suppressing ourselves, and become energetically powerful again, feeling naturally energised with prana/chi and needing less calories for our bodies. This happens when emotionally we demonstrate and prove to spirit/God that we use this energy and power responsibly, and towards creating and maintaining the golden age energy. It happens as a byproduct of healing and shadow work, rather than being something to achieve. The people who heal and demonstrate they aren’t power hungry become powerful, and abusers of power lose out and have to make good on their negative karma. Everyone gets their justice. Over time, hierarchical systems of control flatten out where feasible, and balance is restored so everyone feels free and uncontrolled by others. Bosses become guides, rather than an authority.

Slowly, the world shifts, and where things are unhealthily unbalanced, the polarities are switched around, until a middle ground is found. There’s no destructive armageddon, world reset, patriarchy vs matriarchy, capitalism vs communism, 1 vs 99%, elites vs poor, black vs white, east vs west, dark vs light, vaccinated vs natural immunity. This is not about battling and defeating any perceived enemy. This is about achieving world peace, love, unity and respect. Duality is succeeded by non-duality – One Love – and when it’s time to party, we can party on and be excellent to each other! Or ignore parties all together as everyone has free will and self autonomy to do what they want as long as no-one is purposely harmed. The only energy to be eradicated is that of “evil” – and karma takes care of that naturally.

Peace and love and all that good stuff

Given we are all intrinsically connected with the planet’s energies, this starts with Africa, physically. It’s the heart of the earth, where humanity as we know it began, the centre of the landmass of our world before the earth shifted and broke up into separation during the world’s first Armageddon reset, which regularly come around when civilisations become too out of balance. It’s drought represents a drought of feminine and loving emotions across the planet. As a collective, we are emotionally ‘dry’ – and ‘plastic’ – fake. If we want to make a big positive difference to all of the world emotions, we begin with Africa’s water crisis, and heal the source/root of the problem. Then we clean up the rivers, lakes and seas.

Goddess Oshun is the deity for the job

We unclog and purify Gaia’s water flow, and the same happens with our collective emotions – as above so below, as within so without. We can achieve both either physically, or emotionally, whichever way of transmuting we prefer, as both are required. Once this happens, the 3D world shifts into its golden age automatically. It is the start of the snowball effect required to get the ball rolling for all of the world’s emotions to feel gently purified, and heal. It’s all about the water. Stay hydrated!

So yep, that’s my idea of the golden age in a nutshell. There’s plenty more detail I could add but this feels good for now. This is what I’m manifesting with this website and through music playlists. I feel it happening, for me and my little bubble of consciousness and some current connections at least. What the rest of the world does is up to them – it’s all good. Love wins in the end, because everyone wants love – it’s what brings us all together.

We can’t bypass the problems in the world – but If we always talk about doom, we bring about more doom. If we talk about love, we bring about more love

How does this fit in with your vision of the future? If you want to see it happen – write it down and talk about it! I’d love to hear everyone else’s vision and where there is any opportunity to co-create a harmonious future on earth together 🙂

Whatever your thing is, you can do the thing! 🙌

Friday the 13th feminine feels

Today is a great day to explain a patriarchal problem.

The latter Friday 13th films focus on Jason, but the origin is all about his mother. She’s the one with the power, Jason is the mindless puppet, and on Friday 13th Jason supernaturally rises again and again to do his mother’s witchy bidding.

Poor old Jason. No wonder he’s got anger issues

Certain dates, days, and numbers of the week are all attributed to specific spiritual meanings. Google the original spiritual meaning behind Friday the 13th and you’ll find info such as:

“Friday is Venus Day and we all know that Venus is the epitome of feminine energy. The Number 13 also holds an extremely potent feminine energy and is considered to be the number of death and rebirth, creation, fertility and blood. This is because we have 13 Moon cycles every year and the average female also experiences 13 periods per year.

Before patriarchal times, Friday the 13th was considered the day of the Goddess. It was considered a day to worship the Divine Feminine that lives in us all. Friday the 13th was considered a very powerful day to manifest, honor creativity and to celebrate beauty, wisdom and nourishment of the soul.”

Why is it considered evil and unlucky then? Well maybe its an unlucky day for people pushing patriarchal values, because today is a day when women aren’t going to take any of that shit. A female empowerment day means a potential masculine disempowerment day, if they are on the list of any witch’s witchy wrath.

Image result for 13 witches
Today is only unlucky if you’ve pissed off a witch recently

“13 – unlucky for some”. Just like how religion has vilified and suppressed female power, culture has vilified this date, and created a superstition that people using their power on this day are evil. Sometimes that might have been justified. Stories become superstitions, then true; what we believe we create in our reality. Years later the true meaning is lost and we just consider it unlucky, for unexplainable reasons.

Today isn’t evil or unlucky, unless you believe it is and then make your own bad luck. It’s simply a feminine empowerment day, which we can all enjoy if we embrace our inner feminine (some more than others!). Superstitions are born through fear, and it’s time to let that fear go. Enjoy your feminine full moon Friday, though remember with great power comes great responsibility! 💪♀️🙏

Channelling challenges

Channelling appears to be both my spiritual strength, and weakness. I began this blog post intending to do some channelling, but instead it seems my higher self wants me to write down and analyse how I feel about that, because I feel a lot about it. I may be channelling now, I’m never entirely sure until I read the post back afterwards, but it sure feels like I am meant to write this post, and it’s flowing effortlessly, unlike when I attempt to write some form of thought out article.

Before I started this website I had an Instagram and Facebook account, where I expressed my horror towards the dark night of the soul, attempted to find my soul tribe, and let off some steam. It began with memes and one liners, and as I grew in confidence that actually it wasn’t just me going through this spiritual awakening process, I began to make my own memes, take off my mask, open up, and write more personally.

One thing I wasn’t sure about discussing was channelling. Some people channel alien transmissions, and that seems to go down relatively harmlessly on the internet, but I tend to pick up the energies of what I interpret as ancient civilization gods and goddesses, and occasionally Source, which some people feel is God with a capital G and that’s very important… all my interactions with these energies comes through with my voice, but feeling and saying things I normally wouldn’t. I’d see the daily online Source transmissions and messages from the universe, and while i resonated with their content, I expressed that energy like.. well, like me. I felt I would cheapen the message if I added in my brand of vocabularily amd ropey grammar, and I wasn’t sure of what I was doing, or if it was real in the early stages. Quoting all of these named deities and passing on their messages to humanity seemed like a recipe for disaster, and I decided against it.

One of the energies I felt safe with was my higher self. I didn’t really know what it was at the time, but it was a voice in the back my my mind that answered me back when I asked myself a question, (usually after an ego response) and unlike my ego, it always made sense. It felt like it knew every thing i’d ever read or heard or felt, and put it to me in an egoless state. I knew it felt right, as usually it gently kicked my arse and told me where I was going wrong, but in a way which would lead to self improvement. It was my higher self, personal to me, so i thought this was the perfect voice to channel…

I began writing down my conversations with higher me, in conversational format. Instead of some wannabe guru type spilling his recently amassed supposed wisdom from the cosmos, I became the butt of my own higher self’s jokes. I thought, at the time, this would be a great way for me to get my message across, without coming across too hoity toity, and usually it was at least partially amusing, because my higher self talks to me like I talk, and I often try to find the comedy in difficult situations… maybe as a defence mechanism from engaging with actual emotion, which isn’t great, but at least it can be fun for others to read, and fun – in theory – gets shared. At first, it was just me trying to express a story. A journalistic format which would keep me humble. My media strategy as I set out to encourage other people to channel their higher selves too – my little bit in helping this ascension of humanity malarkey.

Quite quickly, I realised I’d stopped trying to tell a story and was simply in a trance state, channelling away. The point I began to make was quickly highjacked by my higher self and I recieved some kind of humiliating lesson instead. My higher mind was in charge of the whole thing, including my responses. ‘Me’ became a character of sorts, playing the dumb role of a man having no idea what was going on during his spiritual awakening, even though often it was a reminder of something I’d learnt but forgotten from a while back, and was now integrating. It was totally spot on and I was regularly shocked and humbled. Sometimes it made me look way smarter or way dafter than reality. In ‘reality’ I am both ‘Me’ and my higher self, but online the role of Me because a character of sorts, a film version of me playing me, similar but different. Perfect, I thought, I was channelling and learning and getting messages from spirit across to others without being a know it all. I thought.

Eventually I realised I was also tapping into my higher self’s soul family and monad group. There was nothing individual at all about what I was channelling. That’s when the weirdness began. I had inadvertantly tapped into the energy of the 5D collective consciousness. People started saying that my conversations with my higher self were the same conversations they were having. I was describing their day. People thought I was speaking directly to them. In their heads – how else could I know exactly what they were thinking? Lots took offense, and thought I was passively aggressively trying to teach them a lesson, that I myself was also learning that day. Some thought Higher me was made up entirely. A number of people projected onto me that I was their twin flame, or some other form of soul family destiny. People manifested me, told me I was theirs, how they knew where I lived and would track me down, and put spells on me. One posted photos of a voodoo doll with all kinds of foreign incantations clearly aimed at me, and I really felt that. This all suddenly happened – one day I was anonymous, the next I had half a dozen offers of love in the same week. It was overwhelming and one sided, some I ignored, some I spoke to and tried to put them off.

Until the day where I received multiple offers of overwhelming love bombing, I had been oblivious, focussing on my own journey and interactions with spirit. Having being a sick chap most of my life, attention from the opposite sex was rare, and I wasn’t expecting it or in a good place to do anything about it, I was in the spiritual isolation phase, dark night of the soul. However the more I avoided or, stopped following any accounts that triggered me, the more intense the interactions became.

I feel that a man going online and breaking down his most private and spiritual emotions publicly, received a similar reaction as if a girl had walked onto a club dancefloor and started taking her clothes off. I just wanted to understand and express myself freely, but people got too full on, and I eventually had to take a break from social media. My energy body felt like it was being pulled in a dozen different directions, my thoughts were all over the place, and my heart constantly felt stabbed with a dozen pins. Be in the heart they say – I couldn’t. It hurt, really badly, and still does a little. It’s physically painful for me to live in the heart. I’m paying back a lot of past life karma right now, where clearly I was at the very least, a very naughty witch. The mirrors I was attracting showed me how intense my own repressed energy was, and how I was also caught up in the twin flame destiny malarkey, thinking it was the first person I’d connected with at a spiritual level. Women acting towards me reflected how full on I must have been, emotionally if not physically, as a masculine youth before I decided to sorry myself out. It was all a very horrible and humiliating lesson.

A lot of energy work later, some major toxin clearing and keeping away from Instagram and Facebook, I feel clearer, lighter, and back to myself. My thoughts feel my own again. My heart aches a little, but not a lot. I can breathe deeply again and have lost the overwhelming sense of anxiety i’d been carrying all year. Before I delve back into social media and ‘real’ groups of people, if I do, I need to heal my heart space, and improve my energy management and psychic protection skills. Next time, i’ll be going in with bigger boundaries.

However, in my social break, I’m not channelling any more. I’m missing out on the lessons my higher self has for me. If I try to channel privately, it works to an extent, but my higher self is very clear that it wants me to do this online as well, because it’s the most effective way of persuading others to get in contact with their own higher selves. So here I am, starting again on a website rather than social media, delighting in the fact that this page may have less than a dozen people ever read it. How things have changed, the social media strategist inside of me doesn’t know what to make of this whatsoever! But for me, this feels right. I need to write, and release what’s inside of me, but I don’t want the overwhelmingly weird attention it gets.

Me: higher me, is it time for a test?

± Higher me: It certainly is. How does this feel for you?

± Me: different. Not as smooth. The little ± symbol i use to signify switching between you and me seems redundant. The WordPress phone app keyboard is slower than Instagram, I keep making typos if I go at normal speed. Which means I am actually getting more info from you, it feels more meditative, it’s frustrating but probably good for me, i’m typing more mindfully. The formatting is different. I love the lack of character limit though. Love it!

Higher me: Well, it’s time! It was good for you to learn getting your point across succinctly, but now it’s restricting you. You’ve got the freedom to write whatever you want now, and while almost noone will read this, emotionally you are now writing for your self, and the right reasons, not the attention from people who made you feel good about yourself every day. This is a lot better for your ego. Otherwise you may have ended up turning into a bit of a knobhead

Me: thanks higher me, I see we’re straight back into public character assassination. But alright. I see your point. Is there anything in particular you would like to say right now, or shall we pick this up tomorrow on a post that isn’t already pretty long? Yay no character limits or people reading my stuff and getting weird! Freedoooom!

Higher me: Ha, enjoy it while it lasts. Once people recognise your higher me, i.e. me is speaking to you with info that’s relevant for your soul group, i.e. them, that will change. Whichever medium you use. It’s kind of the point. Anyone can write an article, but it has limited effect and reach. Channelling me will literally energetically attract your soul group here. But you have a while to channel freely without having to worry about that. Just a while 😉

Me: I would really prefer to keep my personal stuff and the usual ego bashing to a minimum on this website please. I’m hoping to, you know, be respected and earn a basic living from this one day. Any chance we could make this more about me asking useful questions about life, rather than you constantly embarrassing me in the name of the universe exploring itself, with me as it’s comedy lackey, having my ego whittled away as some form of universal entertainment?

Higher me: That’s down to you, buddy. If you have a lesson to learn and you’re listening, I’m gonna teach it to you. How I do that is up to you, because I’ll teach it to you in the same way as you feel about yourself. If you’re giving yourself a hard time, so will I. If you’re making light of a difficult situation, so will I. You know how this goes. I’m you, your mirror, and also a lot of other things too.

Me: back to the old, I create my own destiny huh? You’ll reflect my inner world in the outer world, etc

Higher me: You know it. May be best to end this here for now. You’ll go on all night, without character limits. Have you any idea how long you’ve been typing for?

Me: not a clue, haha! A while ago I couldn’t be bothered writing anything, and now look at me, I don’t wanna stop! This is nice. Thanks for guiding me here. And thanks for knocking out the WiFi so I couldn’t watch videos, instead forcing me to do something creative, that was a cunning cosmic plan

Higher me: You’re welcome. The WiFi is back on now. You’re welcome again 😊

Me: oh yeah! Ace. Well, thanks for this, cheerio for now 🙏

Higher me: Catchya later! 🙏

Working through toxic masculinity

As a bloke I’ve been running on automatic, and an egocentric idiot, in my past, and less so now but still in the present day. These days I am at least more self aware, and able to rectify myself when i feel it’s necessary. At the start of this healing journey I had no clue was toxic – I was a nice guy – overly empathic and giving, attracting narcissistic relationships. Ugh, how much I’ve learnt since then. I’m going to capture my thoughts on the undoing of my own toxicity; masculine and feminine, as I identify it within myself. It’s an ongoing mission…

Previously, I’ve focused on my needs and thought relationships were about finding the right person to fit into the tick box list of acceptable criteria I approved of. People who would fit around my issues and weirdness. If they didn’t, they had an issue and I would point it out.

I’ve been defensive and told intuitive people they were wrong, out of defence and shame for my own actions when pointed out. Defensiveness leads to gaslighting, sadly. Most of us don’t realise we’re even doing it, we just project that shame into anger and push it back. It feels justified at the time, few people are actual narcissists – we all have narcissistic tendencies however, especially if we are acting from shadow impulses, unaware of why we are acting forcefully or defensively.

I grew up in a wounded society, living under the rules of the Church, the entitled and privileged ego of the British Empire, patriarchy and capitalism. This is what I perceive as my toxicity to remove, one bit at a time. To undo the programming put into me, by finding myself through spirit and undoing the behaviours I’ve been taught were ‘right’, which my soul feels are ‘wrong’.

Towards the end of my thirties, my soul felt like it was screaming that everything felt wrong. The idea of releasing and transmuting my negative emotions was completely alien to me. I would have laughed it off and played a competitive video game instead, to take my mind off of the increasing tension and pain in my body and life. Had I not addressed this, I can totally appreciate how I would have ended up a typically shut down, suicidal mid fourties male, unable to comprehend or deal with all of the emotions that I had bottled up for decades. Most men simply don’t understand this until it reaches crisis point, which is why I write articles like this.

“Man up” – “Be a real man”

We have all kinds of wounds from a society that doesn’t promote individual health as paramount – war wounds, ancestral and past life karma, father wounds, mother wounds, inner child wounds, relationship wounds, etc etc. Men are assigned a role from birth as the provider, the defender, the reliable, strong one. While we progress through life without realising or addressing how these wounds and programming affect us, they show up subconsciously in our own behaviour, to make our, and other people’s lives difficult. Emotions don’t get dealt with, instead they turn into resentful behaviour patterns, mental and physical illnesses. We hurt the ones we love, unless we address our inner hurt.

From where i’m sat, we live in a society where the women, in relationships, rule the roost usually. They are more likely to express and deal with their emotions. They know things. They feel things. If we screw up, they’re onto it. They often know best, emotionally, while men stereotypically focus on practical, logical matters. Men counteract emotional intelligence with domination energy in some form, pushing back to shut down the perceived threat.

We need to balance ourselves, start listening, stop pushing, stop denying we’re less than perfect and realise it’s OK to screw up, what’s not OK is to focus on the other person’s perceived screw ups and tell them they need to change. Like attracts like. We are all damaged, both genders, living in a world of duality where men and women see each other as the problem. We all need to back off and give each other a break, because we are all the potential problem for someone else.

When the masculine stop energetically attacking, either aggressively or defensively, then the feminine can begin to heal… They can slowly realise the previous threats they’ve encountered from other men won’t happen here, and can begin to relax and lower their defences. We can begin to balance out, level off, and meet in the middle. At this point the feminine are often confronted with their own toxicity – no longer needing to employ tactics to work around the masculine’s aggressiveness, their own issues suddenly become apparent, as we have all attempted to control each other in the past, one way or another. Feminine tactics usually use more subtle forms of control – guilt, silence, social triangulation, or emotional manipulation is very effective at counteracting any masculine dominant energy. We all balance each other out one way or another! It takes time and understanding to work through this, usually through relationships where good communication, mutual respect and understanding, setting healthy boundaries and holding space for each other can take place to encourage mutual healing.

Apart from attracting healthier future relationships and healing ourselves, there’s a carrot on a stick for fellas by embracing their own inner feminine energy. By learning to breathe properly, slowing down, stop pretending everything’s fine, accepting help and opening our hearts, something happens. Our defences lessen and we become more reasonable. We learn about ourselves. People are nicer to us. Our intuition switches on. Our psychic abilities develop. Suddenly we know what’s going on like our partners always have done, and can’t be fooled like before. We know when others are projecting their toxicity onto us. Then we have that same power we’ve been trying to shut down in our partners before, and we can relax and begin to heal as well. We no longer need to be aggressive or forceful, and stop. Defenses can be lowered, all round. When both parties in a relationship have great intuition, there’s no room for games – it promotes an honest, trusting, mutually beneficial, supportive relationship dynamic.

That’s my goal and reason for doing this inner work. Is that self serving and narcissistic? Should I be focusing on myself only? Probably, but also I am human, and I know what I want in life in order to be as happy as I can be. I’ve spent most of my awakening journey in isolation, and while I am really comfortable with that and pretty happy overall, it’s not what I want forever. I believe we find our healthy relationships by doing the inner work first. Find balance within ourselves, to end up not needing a relationship – that’s when we are in the best place to have a healthy one. I’d rather not be doing inner work forever, at some point I hope to run out of issues to correct within myself, truly love myself with an overflowing cup, and be ready for the kind of life and partnership I dream of, but I know it comes first by continually accepting and finding balance within myself first.

Find happiness and your ideal relationship within yourself, first

So men; if you want to feel genuinely strong, allow yourself to feel gentle first. Embrace your inner femininity without fear – it will make you ultimately far more powerful as a person than focusing on traditional masculine pursuits such as being physically and financially powerful. Power comes with responsibility, and currently there are too many powerful men in this world showing they don’t know how to handle that quite yet, including myself. It’s not a quick fix and it takes time – but it’s definitely worth it. Just gently keep plugging away at the honest work ☯️

Note: we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy. Many men are mostly feminine and many women are mostly masculine. Culture is changing big time, and in the future we’re likely to become a pretty androgynous species. We have a 50/50 energy spilt available to us to tap into, so this is at least partially relevant for whichever gender – or absence of – that you personally identify with.